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Thread: Caught cheating

  1. #1
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Caught cheating

    The pulse in my head,
    The door open wide.
    The two caught right there,
    With blood on their hands.

    “Why thank You very much!
    You dirty piece of scum!
    Because of you it seems
    I’ve lost my faith in life.”

    I’ll have my revenge, don’t worry.
    I’ll make them beg on their knees to stop.
    A weapon I have far more powerful than evil-
    A few simple words will do it.

    Trust.
    A slap in his face.
    A spit at her feet.
    “You promised you’d never leave me...”

    Love.
    “I loved you so much…
    I’d die just to see your smile.
    You’ve destroyed it all!”

    His laugh piercing my ears.
    His scent making me sick.
    “Don’t call forth the past!
    Stop talking in rhymes-
    Your muses won’t help you!
    There’s nothing you can do.
    Forget it or leave.”

    Honor.
    “What a disgrace to attack the unarmed,
    What foulness to play with the heart of a naïve…
    You’ll never be forgiven…”

    Cold.
    “To you I’ll be
    As cold as you are to me-
    Won’t move a finger to help you out
    Won’t share a tear when you leave this world.”

    Courage.
    “Look in my eyes!
    Look in my eyes and explain!”
    Won’t let you leave until you’ve suffered enough.

    An empty house,
    A hollow soul…
    You can keep these things, my dear.
    You should have known better…

    A curse I laid on you-
    Never to forget this,
    Never to forgive yourself.
    Just a few little words-
    You don’t seem to be laughing now….

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Caught cheating

    Wow, even though it's a long poem it's still a quick read, and you have done a very good job There is a nice flow, keep it up.

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Caught cheating

    Thank You Rave very much!!! ^^ I'm glad you like it and all the things you said are so good to hear...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Caught cheating

    Oooh, I got a little worked up in this. Though, I've never caught someone cheating... I've had many people inform me that they saw the line being crossed.
    I used to feel resentment like what you've written in here. Maybe worse. To want someone to suffer as they so carelessy made me suffer.

    Then I found out... to know of anothers suffering (even if they have wronged me)... It doesn't take my pain away. Infact... it may make it worse.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Otaku Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105's Avatar
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    Re: Caught cheating

    Very nice. It was very smooth and lots of feeling. Your poems are very strong in words. They give me inspiration for some poems that come into my mind. Great job.

    They say, "I will die for my country." I never hear them say, "I will kill for my country."

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Caught cheating

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    Oooh, I got a little worked up in this. Though, I've never caught someone cheating... I've had many people inform me that they saw the line being crossed.
    I used to feel resentment like what you've written in here. Maybe worse. To want someone to suffer as they so carelessy made me suffer.

    Then I found out... to know of anothers suffering (even if they have wronged me)... It doesn't take my pain away. Infact... it may make it worse.
    I know that very well, still I think I would act just as I describe here if I caught someone cheating on me... Thank You for the comment!!! ^^

    And thank You Chaos very, very much!!!!!!! I'm really glad to hear you like my work so much!!! ^^ I just feel flattered...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Otaku Seirika is off to a good start
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    Re: Caught cheating

    Gosh,this title caught my eye.
    I looove this poem is all I can say.The structure,the feeling,the mood it's all good.
    Lol,I think by most,it's the best poem I ever read.

    Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.

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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Caught cheating

    WOW! So much emotion! So much pure, unadulterated angst.

    I love it! ^_^ This is really good, Laura. I like how you broke down your meaning behind every word (I.E: Love, trust, etc).

    Very, very good! This poem rocked my socks off. ^_^


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