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Reply With QuoteWow, even though it's a long poem it's still a quick read, and you have done a very good jobThere is a nice flow, keep it up.
The pulse in my head,
The door open wide.
The two caught right there,
With blood on their hands.
“Why thank You very much!
You dirty piece of scum!
Because of you it seems
I’ve lost my faith in life.”
I’ll have my revenge, don’t worry.
I’ll make them beg on their knees to stop.
A weapon I have far more powerful than evil-
A few simple words will do it.
Trust.
A slap in his face.
A spit at her feet.
“You promised you’d never leave me...”
Love.
“I loved you so much…
I’d die just to see your smile.
You’ve destroyed it all!”
His laugh piercing my ears.
His scent making me sick.
“Don’t call forth the past!
Stop talking in rhymes-
Your muses won’t help you!
There’s nothing you can do.
Forget it or leave.”
Honor.
“What a disgrace to attack the unarmed,
What foulness to play with the heart of a naïve…
You’ll never be forgiven…”
Cold.
“To you I’ll be
As cold as you are to me-
Won’t move a finger to help you out
Won’t share a tear when you leave this world.”
Courage.
“Look in my eyes!
Look in my eyes and explain!”
Won’t let you leave until you’ve suffered enough.
An empty house,
A hollow soul…
You can keep these things, my dear.
You should have known better…
A curse I laid on you-
Never to forget this,
Never to forgive yourself.
Just a few little words-
You don’t seem to be laughing now….
Wow, even though it's a long poem it's still a quick read, and you have done a very good job
Thank You Rave very much!!! ^^ I'm glad you like it and all the things you said are so good to hear...
Oooh, I got a little worked up in this. Though, I've never caught someone cheating... I've had many people inform me that they saw the line being crossed.
I used to feel resentment like what you've written in here. Maybe worse. To want someone to suffer as they so carelessy made me suffer.
Then I found out... to know of anothers suffering (even if they have wronged me)... It doesn't take my pain away. Infact... it may make it worse.
... Not Ever Again...
Very nice. It was very smooth and lots of feeling. Your poems are very strong in words. They give me inspiration for some poems that come into my mind. Great job.
They say, "I will die for my country." I never hear them say, "I will kill for my country."
I know that very well, still I think I would act just as I describe here if I caught someone cheating on me... Thank You for the comment!!! ^^Originally Posted by Peach_follows
And thank You Chaos very, very much!!!!!!! I'm really glad to hear you like my work so much!!! ^^ I just feel flattered...
Gosh,this title caught my eye.
I looove this poem is all I can say.The structure,the feeling,the mood it's all good.
Lol,I think by most,it's the best poem I ever read.
Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.
WOW! So much emotion! So much pure, unadulterated angst.
I love it! ^_^ This is really good, Laura. I like how you broke down your meaning behind every word (I.E: Love, trust, etc).
Very, very good! This poem rocked my socks off. ^_^
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