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Thread: Cautiously

  1. #1
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
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    Cautiously

    Cautiously

    Reluctantly, I approach you.
    Your world surges with color,
    and I fear being swept away in its silver sea.

    Slowly, I accept you.
    The sound of your life is sweet music,
    but I set the volume far too low to hear.

    Timidly, I admire you.
    I want to reach for your hands,
    though I know I'll withdraw at the touch.

    Cautiously, I adore you.
    No words of devotion will I speak,
    you'll never see the blooming of this heart.

    Finally, I release you.
    I sought out your shelter,
    but am content to rest my head on your door.
    sig by Pyro Psycho

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    Thanks for the memories princesslady may be famous one day princesslady may be famous one day princesslady's Avatar
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    Re: Cautiously

    wow. deep in depth stanzas and detail. The best poem i read here. Great use of words

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    ~always by your side~ Radarix Champion, Virus 2 Champion, Virus 3 Champion fireandice is off to a good start fireandice's Avatar
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    Re: Cautiously

    Quote Originally Posted by gren View Post
    Cautiously



    Cautiously, I adore you.
    No words of devotion will I speak,
    you'll never see the blooming of this heart.

    This has to be my favorite stanza. I love the way you worded it. I have done this very thing, more times than I care to count. You put alot of thought and meaning into your words, I just hope that I can be as good of a writer as you are someday. Guess I'll just watch what you write and learn from you. Can't really say anything bad about this poem. I liked all of it, but that stanza....you definantly have a way with words.

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Cautiously

    Ahhh... this was truly wonderful!!! Perfect I must say or is it the music working on my brain again? ^^

    This poem is perfect- short, easy to understand, but having its mistery, the words are perfect, beautiful, the rhythm is also nice, flowing, the repetition is perfectly made to create that flow, the mood- loving, dreamy and yet sad... And the thought (the plot)- so true to life.

    One more thing- this:
    I sought out your shelter,
    but am content to rest my head on your door.
    Was the line witch confused me the most (hehe... not used to such language ), but it's also the line which created an image in my head, and images appear only when I'm truly touched

    Anyways- nice work (sorry if it seemd my praises are overexaggerated) and I hope to see more

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Re: Cautiously

    Oh wow... @.@ deep and nicely written... this is a great piece... i loved it... ^^

    The use of words here are very good...carefully selected eh?

    Slowly, I accept you.
    The sound of your life is sweet music,
    but I set the volume far too low to hear
    \

    nice use of methaphores... ^^

    Imagery was nicely used...

    and the poem was truly a suprise with the title...admiration of someone silently.. my.. deep and yet easily to be understand with the main topic you want to convey... nicely done.. a kudos to you there

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    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: Cautiously

    This is really good......I love the unique way you wrote the words and used them to create a certain type of rhythm......and the words are magnificent by themselves
    Great job!!!!!!!
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

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    Àddïctëd tø |ăüghïñg :) Sonny Sunshine Champion, Volcano Champion, Aquarium Sprengischen Champion, Spiderman Web of Words Champion, Look Alive Champion iluvmyloser is off to a good start iluvmyloser's Avatar
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    Re: Cautiously

    WOAH!! thats soooo awesome great words of description.thats deep and very good.

    I see this might be coming from the heart??LOL great work^-^

    love to hear more

    ♥~*The Princess*~♥
    Yeah, Bye.

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    Otaku Inuruto is off to a good start Inuruto's Avatar
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    Re: Cautiously

    You can tell you read many poems in your days & knowing someone of your caliber still do...

    The message that was conveyed to me is someone who wants to love, but is scared & by that pushing love away...

    1st stanza
    Speaks of the color of love, but is afraid of being lost in it's dark hues

    2nd stanza
    Speaks of the sounds of love, but one deafens themselves to guard them from the lovely tones that can cause pain

    3rd stanza
    Speaks for itself, but is the touch of love & how ones' mechanics of love draws back when it comes to physical attraction/contact

    4th stanza
    Speaks of the word of love & how one won't speak on admiration &/or the hidden love that's kept secret

    5th stanza
    Speaks of the comfort of love & how one seeked it, but never wanted to get too close & by that letting love get away

    Well that is what I got from this poem... I might have looked in too deep or not deep enough, but I tried to break it down the best way I could & what I comprehended from this written work...

    I applaud you for this poem & keep reading poetry cause it shows in your work...

    The heart can't lie... Truth is... I love you!!!

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