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Thread: Child abuse

  1. #1
    Newbie Vain may be famous one day Vain may be famous one day Vain's Avatar
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    Child abuse

    I know everyones probably heard it before but its a realy affective way to get the message across so im gonna post it

    My name is Sarah
    I am but three,
    My eyes are swollen
    I cannot see,

    I must be stupid
    I must be bad,
    What else could have made
    My daddy so mad?

    I wish I were better
    I wish I weren't ugly,
    Then maybe my mommy
    Would still want to hug me.

    I can't speak at all
    I can't do a wrong
    Or else I'm locked up
    All the day long.

    When I awake
    I'm all alone
    The house is dark
    My folks aren't home

    When my mommy does come
    I'll try and be nice,
    So maybe I'll get just
    One whipping tonight.

    Don't make a sound!
    I just heard a car
    My daddy is back
    From Charlie's Bar.

    I hear him curse
    My name he calls
    I press myself
    Against the wall

    As I try and hide
    From his evil eyes
    I'm so afraid now
    I'm starting to cry

    He finds me weeping
    He shouts ugly words,
    He says its my fault
    That he suffers at work.

    He slaps me and hits me
    And yells at me more,
    I finally get free
    And I run for the door.

    He's already locked it
    And I start to bawl,
    He takes me and throws me
    Against the hard wall.

    I fall to the floor
    With my bones nearly broken,
    And my daddy continues
    With more bad words spoken.

    "I'm sorry!", I scream
    But its now much too late
    His face has been twisted
    Into unimaginable hate

    The hurt and the pain
    Again and again
    Oh please God, have mercy!
    Oh please let it end!

    And he finally stops
    And heads for the door,
    While I lay there motionless
    Sprawled on the floor

    My name is Sarah
    And I am but three,
    Tonight my daddy
    Murdered....me..!!!

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Child abuse

    First off: Your main signature image has a maximum size of 500 (width) x 115 (height) pixels, with a maximum file size of 150kb.

    I think you limited yourself with the amount of words you could be using with the rhyming.

    I wouldve LOVED to read more about what the this child felt. You gave me the straight to the point emotions, but I was hoping for the "flowery" words to present themselves.
    Last edited by Kasai; Sep 08, 2006 at 02:12 AM.
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  3. #3
    Otaku Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward's Avatar
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    Re: Child abuse

    Poor child,wait,this is a story..I think your better in suspense and drama in ballads,maybe. So wht's the next poem?

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    Otaku Big Money Champion hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13's Avatar
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    Re: Child abuse

    i loved the way you put it together. it was easy to understand and straight to the point. you are very good at what you do. i wish ur point could get across to other people just as easily as it did to me.
    Why is everything so ****ing hard for me? Keep me down to what you think I should be! Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry? Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily!

  5. #5
    Newbie Vain may be famous one day Vain may be famous one day Vain's Avatar
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    Re: Child abuse

    Once again thanx for the comments guys/gals the poems wasent realy designed to be flowery and descriptive, its more designed to get the message across and realy hit home thats y all the stanzers are so shot and to-the-point

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