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Thread: Collaboration/story anyone can add!!

  1. #1
    Newbie kingmustang is off to a good start kingmustang's Avatar
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    Collaboration/story anyone can add!!

    Ok I started this and now do not know what to do with it, so I am posting it as a collaboration that any one can add to
    BTW I am giving Beast the official head on this, meaning he can give advice, suggestions and pretty much what ever he thinks needs doing
    But anyone is invited to give constructive criticism.


    Under a sky so blue and pail
    a young man starts to tell a tail.
    A story of victory's,
    and quests almost failed,
    of long days traveling,
    in rain and hail,
    of nights under star and sail,
    and beasts so fantastic,
    they could make a lion seem frail.

    the story also of , a friend
    who took the path of betrayal
    and left him alone
    To the mercy of waves and gale
    upon a small craft
    all broken and frail
    So hear starts the tail
    of a young warrior
    who's faith has yet to bail

    He must complete this will of brass
    unknown to him where this will lead
    he will be challenged, he will bleed
    but not one is he that gives up at will
    and if he has to he will kill
    for their is more at stake than has been reviled

    Ok have at it guys! The only thing I ask is to have some rhyme and try to make it all flow together, Oh and one more thing......Use you imagination!!
    Thanks to: starfire1036 and Dragons2801
    Keep the ideas coming!
    Last edited by kingmustang; May 27, 2010 at 01:38 PM.
    Sword in hand, fire in heart, I walk towards my future just playing my part.
    The school of the undefeated East! The winds of the king! Zenshin! Keiretsu! Tempa! Kyoran! Look! The East is burning red!” (G Gundam)
    Ride Fast, Live Free & Stay strong.

  2. #2
    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Collaboration/story anyone can add!!

    add some twists yo example

    [Of, also, a friend
    who walks down the path of betrayal
    and alone left him
    to set sail
    upon a small craft
    that's broken and frail.
    Starting this tail
    in a boat that he's set sail.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to starfire1036 For This Useful Post:

    kingmustang (May 25, 2010)

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    Newbie kingmustang is off to a good start kingmustang's Avatar
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    Re: Collaboration/story anyone can add!!

    Thanks!! I really liked it I hope you do not mind but I took what you did and changed the wording a bit to make it flow with the first stanza. Thanks again it was a grate idea
    Sword in hand, fire in heart, I walk towards my future just playing my part.
    The school of the undefeated East! The winds of the king! Zenshin! Keiretsu! Tempa! Kyoran! Look! The East is burning red!” (G Gundam)
    Ride Fast, Live Free & Stay strong.

  5. #4
    Otaku Dragons2801 is off to a good start Dragons2801's Avatar
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    Re: Collaboration/story anyone can add!!

    [within the vast watery mass
    he must complete this will of brass
    unknown to him where this will lead
    he will be challenged, he will bleed
    but not one is he that gives up at will
    and if he has to he will kill

    brass means nerve.
    this one that i wrote sounds a little weird.

    within the darkened realm of the mind, is endless shadows, wrenching pain, warming love, and burning desires.

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