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Thread: Come home to me.

  1. #1
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Come home to me.

    Come home to me,
    I miss you so.
    You mean so much to me;
    I thought you should know.

    Come home to me,
    space is available.
    All I have to offer
    is sitting on the table.

    Come home to me,
    it's not the same without you.
    No one else knows how
    to do the things you do.

    Come home to me,
    because you know it feels right.
    Why else would you call
    me in the middle of the night?

    Come home to me.
    This is drivin' me insane.
    Why is it that I can't
    get you out of my brain?

    Come home to me...


  2. #2
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Come home to me.

    That was powerfull like a girlfriend left or your mother or someone left you and they might just still miss you, It sad becasue i relate but i still see this person every day I dont know exactly the whole story to your poem but that is just what i am getting! Well any who your doing great the feelings you have are powefull which make you a great peorson (not saying that your not if you didnt but... ) Keep it up!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
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  3. #3
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Come home to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by highteckdudu View Post
    That was powerfull like a girlfriend left or your mother or someone left you and they might just still miss you, It sad becasue i relate but i still see this person every day I dont know exactly the whole story to your poem but that is just what i am getting! Well any who your doing great the feelings you have are powefull which make you a great peorson (not saying that your not if you didnt but... ) Keep it up!
    You pretty much hit the nail on the head. It's about losing someone close, knowing they miss you, dealing with the changes... That sort of thing. You think I'm a great person? Aww, thanks! I'm not like a saint or anything, but thanks. ^_^ Were it not for the way I handle my feelings, I probably wouldn't be the same person. You'd probably be talking to atomik_stump instead, LOL.

    I'm glad you like my poetry! Thank you for taking time to read and comment on it. ^_^


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    Re: Come home to me.

    Come home to me,
    space is available.
    All I have to offer
    is sitting on the table
    umm... no thanks... it'll be good enough with the cold hard floor thank you..

    I dont think it's powerful... on the other hand.. its more to... meek...and a bit soft... it's a poem of a longing... it don't sound powerful to me.. but the message is clear... come home(back)...

    It's someone begging... and i see no anger but i do see a whine... :/

    Nicely done... keep it up man ^^

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    I'm BACK AO!
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    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Come home to me.

    Aside from the whining thing.. I do see begging... I don't see "power" and anger at all. In fact you almost never have anger in your writing. We all know your a lover and not a fighter anyways. But this poem is moving none the less. It's set up/wording is really delicate to me. And it flows nicely.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

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    Re: Come home to me.

    It was a well written poem, nothing seemed to desperate to beg for a lover to return instead it helped draw me into the poem to watch things progress. It would nice to see a continued version of the poem. Looking into what happened next maybe.

    I felt like your lover secretly wants the same thing you do but is afraid of what might happen and is cautious about it all. Its a good thing to say honestly how you feel to someone as then it gives them the little push into realising what they want too. This poem caught that essence nicely and showed the situation really well.

    You are very good at choosing the right words to use within in your poems atomik. great work as always
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    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Come home to me.

    Nicely done sprout as been said before I dont really see power but I do see a powerful wish in there for someone lost and wishing and hopeing that you get them back so the void can be filled. It is the strongest message any of your poems has put out there. Great job man keep up the good work. Nice rhime too.
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  8. #8
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Come home to me.

    Thanks to all who've commented on this poem so far. ^_^

    I don't really look at it as whining or begging, per se. More of an extreme longing. Hoping and praying for that special someone to return. I'm happy that you've all read and took time out to reply on this. It makes my day to know you all read my work.


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