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Thread: The Cost of Kings.

  1. #1
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    The Cost of Kings.

    Ah.. another poem... Critiques?



    “The Cost of Kings.”

    I kneel at the presence of bewildered grief,
    This confusion taking its toll on me,
    Questions rise in the breath of hurt,
    Lies descend through a thwarted curse.

    My heart falls within the pools of neglect,
    the laughter resides as an irritant effect,
    The flow of eyes betrayed I hide my face,
    This sanctity of a bodiless place,

    The psyche wanders within a swirling mist,
    Clashing and Smashing the thoughts reminisce
    A room of chaos in this jarred up head,
    Apparent now are the tears unclear.

    I raise my head to heights of lost hope,
    The soul of broken desire now at ease,
    A crutch of bone I look to the land diseased,
    Horizons cursed and damned in this night.

    Barren, the carcass littered ground of blight.
    no sign of life to ease the sight of trial,
    resurrection within grasp of ill desire,
    burning fire in this lands hellish attire.

    The sand sweeps around my outer flesh,
    the grit of decay blasts away skin so frail,
    melting skies of blistered sanctum above,
    pour the sweat of decomposed heat once more.

    So here I stoop, the king of waste,
    incredulous to my own kingdoms mistake,
    We took part in abundance sin divine,
    misused our time thoughtless and blind

    So now I wonder these omniscient badlands,
    cursed to gaze at the broken skies unveiled.
    to pay in solitude the price at hand,
    never again to revel in comforts demand.
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

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    new piks in mem gallery animechick may be famous one day animechick may be famous one day animechick's Avatar
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    Re: The Cost of Kings.

    i liked the way you used different patterns of ryming, it made it more interesting and differnet
    So now I wonder these omniscient badlands,
    cursed to gaze at the broken skies unveiled.
    to pay in solitude the price at hand,
    never again to revel in comforts demand.
    i also liked the way you used better vocab, made it a bit more intense, good job.
    im really doin this!! start making money today! <a href="http://www.fusioncash.net/?ref=ke101544"><img src="http://www.fusioncash.net/sig.php/0e40e75b752dx3.png" alt="Free Money at FusionCash!" title="Free Money at FusionCash!" border="0"></a>

  3. #3
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: The Cost of Kings.

    I love love it!!!! Keep it up!!!!
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

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