Shippo101 (Jan 26, 2008)
I usually write what I feel about
I think deeply
With no essentials forming in my mind
Nothing reaching my hand
Anything inside impacts
On this piece of paper
…I always focus what I want to write about
Is it just right? Are there any intellectual perplexes?
I seldom get an honest opinion.
Nonetheless, it’s you who is my grisly perturb.
Well unaware of the fact that
Exhorting through my never ending imperfections,
I strive to make a difference; to be acceptable.
Impulsiveness, humiliation, intense jealousy, dead cold…
Been there, done that, seen it, experienced it all.
All Crimes of passion.
Hate, rage, suicidal love, anything that comes up in your mind,
I’ve grown disdainful towards them all.
I have no desire to continue on like this,
I don’t have any regrets to my position.
I am, in fact, in a way, thankful to the subsequent suffering;
Or else I wouldn’t have this wisdom.
And mind you, love in my mind, in this perpetual journey is
En effet, an understatement.
Let me be selfish for myself once again,
Let me leave you to a better future,
Not with me, but with an individual you are well aware of.
Whether or not it is amusing,
I shall end this abruptly,
And with these last three words,
I Bid Thee Farewell.
I did enjoy reading this poem, though kinda work on the structure, it's kinda out there. But besides that, it was a sad poem, but I loved it all the same. Especially the ending, that was my favorite part, because I can easily reflect to it. Good job rave, you should post poems more often!
I write them but don't work on it much ^^; Thanks for the advice, I'll see to it. And do you mean the middle part?
Yeah, mostly the middle and the ending. Like, talking about living for yourself. I've had to face that many times, and it isn't all too easy. And all the emotions going through, it all makes up into a very wonderful poem really.
Hmm, well, the theme is just a humble way of saying
"I've had it with our selfishness and never ending misery, so just screw with him to no ends. Goodbye."
lol yeah, I kinda figured that! That simple sentence composed into one beautiful poem! The structure is all that needs improvement, and the rest is perfect! You are a very good poem writer besides that one detail! ^^
Bleh! xP What detail? There is a whole part I am working on!
Anywho, I hope everybody thinks it's okay.