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Thread: Crimson Lust part 3

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Crimson Lust part 3

    Blood dripping ,veins coursing
    emptying to the floor , torn flesh
    the bitter sweet smell of death
    feels the air ,as i lean over her.

    The taste of such a sweet
    nectar that only one who
    knows how life truly is would
    know the satisfaction of living
    for a moment as gratifying
    as this.

    Moments tend to seem like
    hours as i drain the last bit
    of crimson from her and let
    the next life have her, truly
    i did her a favour since this
    world is only for my kind.

    I stand over her as i see
    a tear fall from her eye as
    she fades,i smile and taste
    her tear smiling knowing that
    the fear and hell she felt made
    my night that much better.

    this poem is part 3 of a poem/story
    i am doing my last one was posted
    last year hopefully i can make the next
    part sooner, any comments or sugestions
    will be apreciated.
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Crimson Lust part 3

    I really liked it. It had emotions of the dark side of love which was scary and exciting. Great job and I can't wait to read part 4.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Crimson Lust part 3

    Awesome as always big bro!!! The darken love is sooooooooo awesome!!! I loved it!! Can't wait 2 see more!!
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Crimson Lust part 3

    Awesome! Bro you captured the dark side of love very well! I guess we could do a yin & yang thing! Like you write about the dark side and I do the lighter side, just a thought! But this one is really awesome outstanding job Bro!

  5. #5
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Crimson Lust part 3

    thansk and your we could do that if you want i will
    stick with the dark side and you can do the light side
    the light bothers my eyes anyway lol. and thansk for the comment bro
    i aprecaite it.

    and to you to sis thank you very much i am glad you liked it
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  6. #6
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Crimson Lust part 3

    Hey Bro we could do that maybe sometime soon! I just hope I can find some things to inspire me! But I'm game!

  7. #7
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Crimson Lust part 3

    alright then we will do that when your ready then
    it will be fun
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  8. #8
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Re: Crimson Lust part 3

    Wow a love poem with the touch of a darker side. I really do love this poem, because it is not a usual kind of love poem with light emotions rushing through. You provided the reader with imagery, yes definitely (actually i felt something strange at the first line..scary). Your poems are getting better and better Chris. This poem stands out. I just suggest some arrangements of lines in each stanza for a smoother flow.

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

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