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Thread: Cruel Intentions

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Cruel Intentions

    Today someone had enough
    of love ,the pain was to great
    for them to bare, they walk
    to the edge of forever then
    they hesitate.

    Let me help you ,push over the
    edge love is not for you my Friend
    you have done made your choice, i want hesitate
    i am your best friend, let me take the heart
    ache from you.

    My intentions they are cruel but to some
    it's just a favour ,why blame me when they
    want it over with?

    The kid was hurt today someone
    picked on him one to many time's.
    he he home that day picked up
    a gun and never looked back.

    With a pull of a trigger kids met god early
    because words and the actions of
    other's made them that way, some
    blame the parent's ,others blame the
    school's, my self i blame the kid.

    what i say may sound cruel and uncaring
    but that's far from the truth cruel intentions
    are everywhere and life is my proof.

    A man living on others hard work
    Lay's on his death bed as people
    gather round, he hopes they have
    caring words for his last good bye,
    but all he will get is a pill over his
    face.

    Let me end your life no one
    cares for you i have pillow in my hand
    i will be there for you cause i am your
    friend, who will take from this uncaring
    world you made when you lived off others.

    My intentions they are so cruel
    but what one See's as wrong
    another See's as an end to there pain.


    this poem is about people's true
    intention when they hesitate at the
    last moment and do what other's think is right.
    there are people like this out there. any comments
    or suggestions would be appreciated.
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Shichibukai JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie's Avatar
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    Re: Cruel Intentions

    Each line doesn't seem 2 flow lyk most poems.edit the lines a bit so dat they have a rhythm if not a rhyme.

  3. #3
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Cruel Intentions

    i was trying to make it difrent from what i read here when it came to
    flow though i am still working on the puncutations and grammer, thanks you
    for you comment
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  4. #4
    Otaku Sincere may be famous one day Sincere may be famous one day Sincere's Avatar
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    Re: Cruel Intentions

    That was interesting. I liked the part about the kid coming home from school best. Nice job.
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    A white rose no longer alone
    I know who's heart it is to represent
    I didn't pick it, but i let it grow
    For he's the one that's heaven sent. :
    I love you, my White Rose.: The Poop Forums

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Cruel Intentions

    Bro you did a great job even if the lines didn't flow the way everyone wanted them to! Keep up the great work Bro!

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