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Thread: Crush....

  1. #9
    Newbie runebearer00 is off to a good start runebearer00's Avatar
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    Re: Crush....

    I think it is a great poem it is alot different then what i write alot different

    CRUSH.....

    I get nervous...
    When i see you walk the hallways,
    I get scared....
    When i see you looking at me
    And i feel weak in the knees
    When you walk towards me

    Inside I wonder...
    Why
    Is my heart beating go fast
    As my face turns red
    And my eyes look away
    While my legs seem to disappear

    I don't understand this feeling...
    And when you reach me
    You take my hand and kiss it
    Before gazing into my eyes
    And kissing my lips

    I open my eyes and i stare at the ceiling
    Realizing my feelings are only me crushing
    Because the feelings in my heart
    Will never be told to you...
    ... My crush

  2. #10
    Otaku Bowling Champion Tifa Lockhart is off to a good start
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    Re: Crush....

    I enjoy reading it. It was a nice poem. Keep up the good work. ^_^

  3. #11
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Crush....

    Quote Originally Posted by RayMe View Post
    The flow kinda interupted here.. :/

    "Inside I wonder...
    Why
    Is my heart beating go fast
    As my face turns red
    And my eyes look away
    While my legs seem to disappear "

    and i dont get the part with the legs dissapearing

    Hmm...a good poem.. nicely done ^^
    How can you not understand the legs disappearing? Have you never had a crush? It's a really odd feeling when you kinda can't feel your feet- can't control your legs, they start to shake... it's usually acompanied by butterflies in belly ^^

    Anyways... I really liked this poem Ryoma ^^ it's sweet and cute and a little bit of sad too... It was really interesting to feel like having a crush again (your descriptions were just so good that I really could imagine it)

    Again... nice work! I hope to see more! Hugs to ya! (That guy doesn't know what he's missing)

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  4. #12
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
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    Re: Crush....

    lol thank you everyone^^ your comments really help me so i can improve on writing poems^^ i hope i don't go in to much details for my poems >_<

    lasura, yea ray doesn't understand that part lol not picking on you ray^^
    and to all the people for liking my poems thanks again^^ and i hope you enjoy my writing in the future^^
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