Like a watermelon which fell down,
my heart drowns in blood.
They mix with held down tears.
Just by looking at the blown hopes.
It feel so heavy to wield a secret.
It is even worse to shield my feelings.
Why does it feels like being killed?
This feeling of guilt.
To carry this responsibilities of life,
it makes me weary and weakening me down.
Unmotivated by those i trust,
I feel like a wasp that must obey.
How sickening it is to look at others.
They kept winning over my achievements.
I am jealouse over their success and glory,
and over those smurking faces upon my misery.
I look upon my loved ones for hope,
so i could cope with what im feeling.
What i get is cold wind of ignorence.
It is bold and starts to break my patience.
Alone and tormented.
What i have always wanted.
Brushed by the rip roaring wave.
It is disapearing along with what i have.
love your imagination!^^ as i was reading it u created pictures in my head of what this person was going through...i could actually see it...0.o great job
great poem ray lots of feelings whent into this i diffrently do know great as i say again ^^
Thx my friend...this is my first rhyming poem..i hope i got it right... ty to u too lil sis ^^
i am glad u both liked it
Very good poem Rayme like always. I can see the pics as I read this poem on what they were doing and how the felt.
*starts to cry* i... it's a good poem ray... *sniffles and wipes my eyes* very sad... but good... *sniffles*
I love describing things~! ty for sayin that i am successful in giving them images xD
:/ jamie..sheesh.. don't cry ~.~ ty for ur comment guys...
Eeeeeee.... ok... I shouldn't have read it sitting in school... don't want people to see you cry on your second day, you know!
You've managed to write a good poem, expressing your feelings, it just made me too sad and unable to be objective about it...
But I think it's a good work, creating feelings is a good sign... I'll be waiting for more!