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Thread: A Cry to Gods

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    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    A Cry to Gods

    Ok.. just wrote this one.. kind of proud of it.. but yeah.. last one before I nod off to bed.

    A cry to gods.

    I whisper hushed fantasies,
    with a tongue of velvet verve.
    Wishing upon a fallen star,
    to bring forth a love to serve.

    Slow breathing,
    Heart needing,
    I cry to the gods.

    My eyes wash upon lakes,
    that glisten with fiery faith.
    Seeing images of the forsaken,
    thoughts that I used to taste.

    Eyes drowning,
    Soul aching,
    I cry to the gods.

    The wind it caresses with ease,
    flowing openly with whirling wind.
    I stir the air with open hands,
    not knowing what the fates intend.

    Hands shaking,
    Hope breaking,
    I cry to the gods.

    I cry not to the gods for help,
    but to bestow upon me, mercy.
    Being this, my only request,
    I pray that the gods hear me.
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  2. #2
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: A Cry to Gods

    The wind it caresses with ease,
    flowing openly with whirling wind.
    I stir the air with open hands,
    not knowing what the fates intend.

    i like part the best expressing how
    you never know what your going to get
    whil grasping at things fate has for you
    very cool how put that into words. your good
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Re: A Cry to Gods

    Thanks... though I'm beginning to believe the last stanza is unecessary and out of place... any thoughts on that?
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

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    Otaku Adarrah may be famous one day Adarrah may be famous one day Adarrah's Avatar
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    Re: A Cry to Gods

    Wow... This poem is nice... *smile* The last stanza is fine. But maybe too clear. I still like it. Good job!
    Carve an amble now,
    Saying that the day's still bright,
    And let's play with time.

  5. #5
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    Re: A Cry to Gods

    yea you could have out some like"I cry to the god but the dont hear me
    and refuse to hear my prayers" something like that maybe
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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