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Thread: Cursed Being

  1. #1
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Cursed Being




    Cursed Being

    It seems like eternity,
    No one bothers to look at me.
    Eyes swelled in tears,
    Heart’s been drowning in years.

    What is in me that no one likes?
    What is in my eyes that no one stares?
    What is in my face that anyone hates?
    What is in my past that scares?

    Psyche’s being totally invaded
    With heartbreaking judgments
    From folks who turns their backs
    Then agony in my psyche attacks.


    My heart is stabbed by daggers,
    As my way of walking staggers
    So unsure what this cruel life may bring,
    To me, who is a cursed being?



    ~it's been a while since i posted a poem...
    everyone can comment and post critiques.
    thanks for reading.

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  2. #2
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Cursed Being

    What is in me that no one likes?
    What is in my eyes that no one stares?
    What is in my face that anyone hates?
    What is in my past that scares?

    i like this part very discriptive and
    inquizative like somone searching for a reason
    for there dispair . awesome poem ths one was really awesome
    and this what i got for this poem. you should post more i like these
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  3. #3
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Re: Cursed Being

    @ Chris: thankies for posting your comment. i really do appreciate. By the way, i find your poems interesting also. ^^

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  4. #4
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Cursed Being

    thank you im glad you like them and i liek your as well you really should post more
    there really good
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  5. #5
    Mercenary SousukeSagara may be famous one day SousukeSagara may be famous one day SousukeSagara's Avatar
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    Re: Cursed Being

    Nice poem raja_psyche... Never thought you can make poem as well...

    I think I liked this line of yours:

    It seems like eternity,
    No one bothers to look at me.
    Eyes swelled in tears,
    Heart’s been drowning in years.

    It feels like no one dares to look at you...
    They are ignoring you almost all of the time...
    Last edited by SousukeSagara; Aug 27, 2006 at 01:38 AM.

  6. #6
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Cursed Being

    Raja, the last stanza is absolutely beautiful. I love the structure, format, hell almost everything about the poem. The wording seemed a bit iffy in the first and second stanza though.
    Seduced by Flesh


  7. #7
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Re: Cursed Being

    @Sousuke: ^^ wow, you liked my poem as well. thankees very muchee. Yes, there are times, that i felt ignored... so i used that feeling in that poem.

    @Kasai: Thankees for the comment sensei!!! ^^

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  8. #8
    Newbie Nao Chan may be famous one day Nao Chan may be famous one day Nao Chan's Avatar
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    Re: Cursed Being

    wow raja, your poem is awsome ^^
    you're really good, i loved it




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