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Thread: Daddy... What if you came back?

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    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Daddy... What if you came back?

    This is a really really hard thing for me to post but I figured that I would...

    Daddy, whats if you cam back?
    Would things be the same?
    At night I hear mommy scream.
    She is screaming your name.

    Some nights I pray.
    And some nights I don't.
    You hope you could stay,
    But I know you won't.

    What can I do to bring you home,
    if only to share with you
    an ice cream cone?
    And for you to share one with mommy too.

    Oh, how much I love you daddy.
    Please come home.
    Come home and make mommy happy.
    I just can't take my mind off that stone.

    Some days
    I need your help getting rid of my runny nose.
    Some days,
    I want to squirt you with our old hose.

    Daddy if you came back,
    What would you do?
    Mommy says she loves you.
    Would you say I love you too?

    This is a poem to my father who had died when I was only two years old... so if you don't like it then go away.
    Last edited by starfire1036; Feb 13, 2008 at 11:37 AM. Reason: mis-spelled word again... mis-spelled word

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Daddy... What if you came back?

    Umph.... That hit me hard!
    At first... the child-like wording in this... confused me. But when you said dad died when you were 2. I could see this beeing said by a confused 2 year old. So innocent. So pure.

    I've got a 2 year old...

    Hard to imagine someone so young having to deal with such complex issues. Like the absence of a father, death, confusion...

    You get mad kudos from me. A: For putting this piece of yourself out there. And B: For writing about something so different.

    ~Peace
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Daddy... What if you came back?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    Umph.... That hit me hard!
    At first... the child-like wording in this... confused me. But when you said dad died when you were 2. I could see this beeing said by a confused 2 year old. So innocent. So pure.

    I've got a 2 year old...

    Hard to imagine someone so young having to deal with such complex issues. Like the absence of a father, death, confusion...

    You get mad kudos from me. A: For putting this piece of yourself out there. And B: For writing about something so different.

    ~Peace
    if anything it was ment to sound like that
    but yes
    my mom played her wedding video and i cried because i finally got to hear him and it is like so messed up
    because everything just went down hill the few years after
    and what gets me is that my brother he knows he has his name that he is the JR but he acts so stupid land it is like he is just rubbing his name in the dirt
    the poem was written for my mother to show her about everything i felt and to get it all outand to show her that she is the one who missed him the most

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    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Re: Daddy... What if you came back?

    Touching. I especially thought that by expressing it in a child's point of view(signifying what you thought at that age when it happened)was really moving. It gave the entire piece a touch of innocence. I hope you can feel better but yes, this was really a great piece. Nice one.

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    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Daddy... What if you came back?

    Quote Originally Posted by elie26 View Post
    Touching. I especially thought that by expressing it in a child's point of view(signifying what you thought at that age when it happened)was really moving. It gave the entire piece a touch of innocence. I hope you can feel better but yes, this was really a great piece. Nice one.
    to be honest there was no thought behind it
    it basically wrote it's self
    when i am upset or sad i just write
    about nothing at times
    i dunno i am trying to just let it all out to let it all go
    and it isnt working
    because i know that most people just dont care

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