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Thread: The Darken Soul

  1. #1
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    The Darken Soul

    Day by day he sits there rocking
    No talking, just thinking
    The thoughts in his head he tries blocking
    And all the pain he feels just keeps sinking in

    But hour after hour of being inside his head
    His soul begins to darken wth hate
    From all the lies he has been fed
    Now no one knows his fate now it's too late

    He heads to towards his window
    His one last goodbye
    He waves at what is below
    Then he jumps and flys

    His darken soul is freed
    He hits the ground with his last breath
    A sigh of relief no longer a life for himto lead
    Now every inch of him feels death

    The sounds around him began to fade
    Now everything is black
    He is now at peace his soul released as his body decays
    A darken soul now pure and uncracked

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    Wilde Beast GiG Racer Champion EmoNightmareRose may be famous one day EmoNightmareRose's Avatar
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    Re: The Darken Soul

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiani Haki22 View Post
    Day by day he sits there rocking
    No talking, just thinking
    The thoughts in his head he tries blocking
    And all the pain he feels just keeps sinking in

    But hour after hour of being inside his head
    His soul begins to darken wth hate
    From all the lies he has been fed
    Now no one knows his fate now it's too late

    He heads to towards his window
    His one last goodbye
    He waves at what is below
    Then he jumps and flys

    His darken soul is freed
    He hits the ground with his last breath
    A sigh of relief no longer a life for himto lead
    Now every inch of him feels death

    The sounds around him began to fade
    Now everything is black
    He is now at peace his soul released as his body decays
    A darken soul now pure and uncracked

    very nice, i pictured a man falling into a darken well, with endless black and blue water pulling him down. i loved it. it was really good, sometimes i get bored with poetry like this, but you kept the balance and didnt make it redudent.

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    Kiani Haki22 (Jun 01, 2008)

  4. #3
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: The Darken Soul

    a free soul that yearns the darkness is never truly free but
    the feeling is still there like a promise that cant be broken
    thats all anyone wants really , the poem for me shows how desperate
    the hour must be for them to take that final plunge to free themselves
    of the burden of life.

    you have to take it all in stride or you will end up like this poor soul
    true the darkness is free but he is still just a prisoner of his own devices
    no one can truly escape but the futile battle with in your self makes it
    seems possible , i like this poem for the fact it shows the struggle with in
    trying to let the darkness out.

    for most they can handle the stress and pressure of life no matter
    what this poem for me shows one of the few who try and fail because
    they cant comprehend this or that and they leap before they look its just
    an expression but still there are a lot of people who seem to let there
    lives just go out of control.

    once again i love this poem good writting i hope i can read more
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to HolderOfTheDarkChalice For This Useful Post:

    Kiani Haki22 (Jun 01, 2008)

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