![]() |
| Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community! | Anime Online Rulez! |
| |||||||
![]() |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
| | #1 (permalink) |
| Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: in a home which i hate
Posts: 0
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
![]() Credits: 20 | Darkness Over Light She walks to the window In her cold dark house Looking out over the town Where her life once resided So lonely As she turns away with regret A single black tear runs down her cheek Staining her skin black The colour of her heart So lonely She walks to the bathroom That was once so pristine But now it reflects her thoughts The ones that wont go away So lonely She looks at herself in the mirror with hesitation And she hates what she sees Amonster so ugly, with red eyes Yet she doesn't know that she is loved So lonely A man stands outside, wings folded A bright white being amoungst the darkness As he stands there, he doesn't know That the woman he loves, lays dead on the floor.
__________________ LOVE IS SUMTHIN THAT I WILL NEVER NO BCOZ I HAV GROWN UP IN A WORLD OF HATE |
| Status: Offline
| |
| | #2 (permalink) |
| Fennes-One who prays Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: o.O should i tell you.....nope i won't!!! XD
Posts: 530
Thanks: 6
Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts
![]() Credits: 15,096 | Re: Darkness Over Light ......wow.that was amazing!!!! i love the way you write. very creative!!! hope to see more. very nice some what sad, dark. love the title caught my attention. i wish i could write poems like!!!^.^ oh and nice pic!! helps with the poem!!
__________________ |
| Status: Offline
| |
| | #3 (permalink) |
![]() 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
Posts: 3,601
Thanks: 54
Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts
![]() ![]() Credits: 59,118 | Re: Darkness Over Light Light over dark.. @.@ theres very little light in the poem though... i can see more darkness... pitch black....and a dr op of light in the middle... creative work like renn said... ^^ and a very shocking ending suddenly.. nice way of making the poem linger in the minds of the readers...the repeating word of so lonely makes the poem very cold and really adds the effect... nicely done.. keep it up...I want to see more methaphores.. creativity in making methaphores are my favourite.. i love reading methaphores... experiment with words more and keep up the good work ![]() |
| Status: Offline
| |
| | #4 (permalink) |
Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms
Posts: 1,866
Thanks: 56
Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts
![]() Credits: 49,192 | Re: Darkness Over Light @ Ray: your craving for metaphores is just becomming ridiculous ![]() I don't know... I didn't like the flow that much, it kinda made it hard to read, I don't even think I can say why exactly... it just felt a bit odd... I really loved the repetition of "So lonely" though... As Ray said, it makes the poem really quite cold... And in the ending I was like... "WTH " That is so sad... Such a sad peom you've written there. I love the thought though- that we feel lonely and unloved a lot, but not always what we think is true- so you should never just give up, someone might be crying for you afterwards... *sigh*Nice work here! And I really hope to see more ^^ |
| Status: Offline
| |
![]() |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Similar Threads | ||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| ray of light... | Jamie5192 | Poems | 4 | May 16, 2007 07:16 AM |
| darkness fallows light | egyptianKitten137 | Archive | 1 | Apr 02, 2007 12:20 PM |
| Darkness & Light Poem | AnimeRikku2664 | Poems | 1 | Feb 27, 2007 03:19 PM |
| light vs darkness | ROCKANIME2007 | Library | 4 | Sep 10, 2006 08:12 PM |
| [Poem] Light, Darkness, and Truth | AnimeAficianado | The Vault | 8 | May 16, 2005 06:18 PM |