AtheistAngel666

She walks to the window
In her cold dark house
Looking out over the town
Where her life once resided

So lonely

As she turns away with regret
A single black tear runs down her cheek
Staining her skin black
The colour of her heart

So lonely

She walks to the bathroom
That was once so pristine
But now it reflects her thoughts
The ones that wont go away

So lonely

She looks at herself in the mirror with hesitation
And she hates what she sees
Amonster so ugly, with red eyes
Yet she doesn't know that she is loved

So lonely

A man stands outside, wings folded
A bright white being amoungst the darkness
As he stands there, he doesn't know
That the woman he loves, lays dead on the floor.

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LOVE IS SUMTHIN THAT I WILL NEVER NO BCOZ I HAV GROWN UP IN A WORLD OF HATE

Renn

......wow.that was amazing!!!! i love the way you write. very creative!!! hope to see more. very nice some what sad, dark. love the title caught my attention. i wish i could write poems like!!!^.^ oh and nice pic!! helps with the poem!!

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RayMe

Light over dark.. @.@ theres very little light in the poem though... i can see more darkness... pitch black....and a dr op of light in the middle...

creative work like renn said... ^^ and a very shocking ending suddenly.. nice way of making the poem linger in the minds of the readers...the repeating word of so lonely makes the poem very cold and really adds the effect... nicely done.. keep it up...

I want to see more methaphores.. creativity in making methaphores are my favourite.. i love reading methaphores... experiment with words more and keep up the good work

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Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
The best ever Lasura~!
>>>myspace<<<

Lasura

@ Ray: your craving for metaphores is just becomming ridiculous

I don't know... I didn't like the flow that much, it kinda made it hard to read, I don't even think I can say why exactly... it just felt a bit odd...

I really loved the repetition of "So lonely" though... As Ray said, it makes the poem really quite cold...

And in the ending I was like... "WTH " That is so sad... Such a sad peom you've written there. I love the thought though- that we feel lonely and unloved a lot, but not always what we think is true- so you should never just give up, someone might be crying for you afterwards... *sigh*

Nice work here! And I really hope to see more ^^

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My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge