Capitalization and punctuation. Yes, it needs those.
day turns into night
the mood takes the suns place
the black clouds covers the day sky
the stars rip tough the night sky
the creator comes out from his den he stands on his back legs he tosses his head back an howls
when all the night things come out to feed the creaters of the night comes out to play
soon the sun comes back out to put night and its creaters away and to sleep till the night comes out again
Pittbull X hell hound saber
Capitalization and punctuation. Yes, it needs those.
Seduced by Flesh
It could need a little bit more working. Try breaking the 5th line into another paragraph ^_^
Good poem although it was short. It needed to be a little longer so you could get a better understanding of the story.
"Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
Thanks so much I love it!
It needs some more work on the spelling and apostrophe, in addition to what Kasai said. Perhaps giving yourself time to give it a second look for anything to edit before posting it might have made a difference.
I like the concept of it, though. The idea is pretty cool. Without the minor errors, I actually think the poem's good. I don't think it needs more lengthening, the idea seems complete as it is. Keep up the good work!
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