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Thread: dead and broken...mabe not

  1. #1
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    dead and broken...mabe not

    dead and broken was what i thought as the days pasted
    dead and broken as i felt the energy drain from me
    dead and broken is all that i am
    so as i thought of dieing i think its for the best
    for if what thay say is true then what is the pont of liveing
    on this place called earth
    nothing good comes from this place
    if we keep it up this place will die way before its prime
    if up above is what i think it is when why are we all hear
    what is the pont of liveing in a world of pain and surfring
    makes me want to die so i can be in a better place
    dead and broken...no i dont think so
    no no no thare must be a reason a reason for being here right
    or we wood be up thare this place wood not be if we where not here
    so im useing my time to the fullset
    if i must i will walk this place till no end
    and find everything i can about it show me how to live one by one
    im free and liveing....
    dead and broken i think not
    this is what i think of now
    so are you dead and broken or free and liveing for tomarow
    by crazy canadin emo kid
    the one and only show that rocks my socks
    the one show that i cant live
    with out.

    soul society will live on forever in the minds of its poeple!!!

  2. #2
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: dead and broken...mabe not

    Over all, it is a pretty cool free verse poem. However, you need to work on your spelling. There are some grammar errors you need to address to make the poem standout more. Other than that, good job keep it up man.

  3. #3
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    Re: dead and broken...mabe not

    Quote Originally Posted by ketaro View Post
    Over all, it is a pretty cool free verse poem. However, you need to work on your spelling. There are some grammar errors you need to address to make the poem standout more. Other than that, good job keep it up man.
    thanks i know im a bad speller but thanks for the comment
    the one and only show that rocks my socks
    the one show that i cant live
    with out.

    soul society will live on forever in the minds of its poeple!!!

  4. #4
    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: dead and broken...mabe not

    Very nicely done Justin...
    but a few things I want to comment on....
    Even though the rhythm of this poem stayed pretty smooth.....the context of the poem itself is quite confusing...it is like you are siding with one thing and then jump to another thing
    And the second thing is of course your spelling...but you already know that....^^
    other than that.....a very nice poem......^_^
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

  5. #5
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    Re: dead and broken...mabe not

    Quote Originally Posted by Astaroth View Post
    Very nicely done Justin...
    but a few things I want to comment on....
    Even though the rhythm of this poem stayed pretty smooth.....the context of the poem itself is quite confusing...it is like you are siding with one thing and then jump to another thing
    And the second thing is of course your spelling...but you already know that....^^
    other than that.....a very nice poem......^_^
    thanks for the comment but i thoght people like the jumping these days so i tryed it and i guess thare is to much jumping oh well
    the one and only show that rocks my socks
    the one show that i cant live
    with out.

    soul society will live on forever in the minds of its poeple!!!

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