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Thread: Dead Men Tell No Tales

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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Dead Men Tell No Tales

    (See if this makes any sense to anyone! This is for another scholarship, and I wanted to run it by people before turning it in. It's not about the rhyme; it's the syllabic reduction of each line.)

    The prophet keeps banging on my grave,
    Telling me to get up and follow.
    I'm a shadow of my former self,
    But I look so very good in black.

    The tattered funeral veil lifts.
    Exorcised by Charlie's Angels,
    I fall into a deck of cards.

    The Queen of Spades buries me
    Next to the Joker; alas,
    Poor Yorick. I knew him well.
    He has something to tell you:

    "Cloud Nine is slippery;
    There's no friction up there."

    Defeat tastes like pie.
    Eat yourself to death.
    I'll bury you deep
    So you can't climb out.

    Hold nothingness.

    Please don't scream.

    After all, dead men tell no tales.

  2. #2
    Lost In My Own World Fishing the Sea Champion, LastTank Standing Champion Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    To tell you the truth it confused me. I don't get how one thing changes to the other. Maybe if it was explained alittle more it would be better. I'm not saying it's not good just giving suggestions since you are wanting to turn it in for a scholarship.

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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    It starts out with me, a supposedly dead person (really dead inside, not physically.) Only partially sane, I stumble through life, encountering a poker game, which represents chance. Yorick represents my past life, like he did for Hamlet. Now, it's "your" turn to die inside, to experience what I have. **sweatdrop** I know it makes absolutely no sense. Please forgive me. I was reading Sylvia Plath for inspiration!
    Last edited by divine_punishment; Jan 06, 2007 at 10:34 AM. Reason: Clarification

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    Lost In My Own World Fishing the Sea Champion, LastTank Standing Champion Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    Don't know who that is but I suggest your read angels songs and that would give you some inspiration. I guaruntee it! She is so good at writting songs.

  5. #5
    Otaku Wolf_of_the_North may be famous one day Wolf_of_the_North may be famous one day Wolf_of_the_North's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    I personally liked it....I think its obscurity gives it a mysterious element. I really liked it!

    DEMON SPAWN IS AWESOME!!!!! XP

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    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    I like it. It's different and though it's kinda hard to understand you can still get the general idea of what yor saying and like what Wolf_of_the said_ it adds mystery.

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    Haha, thank you! It's funny, though; every time I read it, I think, "What was I on?" (I was on nothing; I don't do drugs. But it's a good question!)

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    Newbie babepooh15 may be famous one day babepooh15 may be famous one day babepooh15's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    sweet me like this!!!!!!!!!! keep it up!!!!!
    poohs my boo

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