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Thread: Dead Poets Waltz

  1. #1
    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Dead Poets Waltz

    Eaten away and loved by fires burning
    Tears in my eyes at love departed
    The sky is s chilly friend whom whispers nothing
    Though it my one treasured luxury

    We danced our souls into the dawn light
    Strangers on a rooftop, whispering
    We danced and loved, died and loved
    Holding the slim chance of each other

    Tears in my eyes at love departed
    Dancing alone in colder moon brilliance
    The solitude of now, the solo
    This is me, and my dance, the dead poets waltz

    ---
    the last sentence hit me randomly. it very much had to be written.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

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    Peach_follows (Jul 08, 2008)

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    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Poets Waltz

    This is really quite nice. I think it stands out a bit from other works I've read from you. Seems a bit more romantic.
    Heres my favorite line:
    Quote Originally Posted by FLawEdmiNd View Post
    We danced and loved, died and loved
    Holding the slim chance of each other

    .
    "Holding the slim chance of each other" (Yep it was soo good I had to repeat it again) Wow.... The image of that is so strong to me. For me, that is the sentence that moved me most.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Poets Waltz

    it was.. hard to write it how it felt, all raw and lonely-like. but it's actually.. for someone whom i never had in the first place.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

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    Newbie Ninja_Amaya is off to a good start Ninja_Amaya's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Poets Waltz

    hmm quite good.
    I like how you went about chosing the words. They describe the mood your trying to create in away that makes it clear to the reader.
    good job ^^

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