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Elie Jelly Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hell is an understatement
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![]() ![]() Credits: 2,051 | Deadly Flowers Deadly Flowers Flowers with such fragrant, elegance and grace Always remaining the image of a picture perfect face Attracting attention in the eyes of every passing stranger Leaving them baffled, oh if only they knew the danger! Deceiving looks hidden under each mask A different character altogether if you were to ask Almost an unimaginable likelihood to wander Yet not leaving any clues for all to ponder Fishing for a victim with each smile they flash Like a lion with sharpened teeth, they lash! Stripping you of every shred of dignity and hope Reducing you to nothing, left only there to mope You made you move so rash and paid the price Not knowing you were just a number on their dice A pawn that served no further purposes in their eyes Merely a bridge that linked the path to sparkling ice They’re skillful masters in the game of persuasion Forcing you to give in to your utmost temptation Lust dances, breaths, and boils beneath your skin Leaving behind grief and pain in the faces of your kin Retreat now and pray for hope of salvation But we all know nothing could change the situation The lives that you’ve unknowingly torn has been too much Now no one would listen to your pleadings and such As you recap and look back on what you did As you stand there looking like he’s some innocent kid He continues counting the cards writings with “I love you” But he knows better because this time you finally left a clue Saying that you’ll be leaving, and never coming back He knows that it’ll be a family he wished he never had Hope it's an improvement from the last. Honest Comment Plz. |
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I hate idiots on AO. Kill Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Life is an illusion.
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![]() ![]() Credits: 14,832 | Re: Deadly Flowers Excellent work Elie! O+O I'm really impressed by your hard work, keep it up ^_^
__________________ ![]() Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig. | .:~My AO Gallery~:. | | .:~The AO Rules~:. | |
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†Everyone Here Hates Me† Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: I have no idea
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![]() ![]() Credits: 835 | Re: Deadly Flowers sad very sad elie I'd like to see happy poems from you again and yes I remember your happy poems =P
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![]() Community Dude Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Australia, Newcastle
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![]() ![]() Credits: 8,807 | Re: Deadly Flowers elie, i have to say that.... that i really love this poem.. i love the part of making that character devious in love.. love the piece great stuff. and i never though some1 could use the riming sequence so well.. great stuff. and i might as well say it one last time for good lucky "great stuff"... 3rd times a charm.. well what i heard.
__________________ .:Tribute to anime legend Hiro Shitaku :. Gone Tripping |
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RPG Lord and Master/Poet Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Sainte-Foy, Qc (Canada)
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![]() ![]() Credits: 4,622 | Re: Deadly Flowers I seemed to feel something similar for when I write my poetry when reading yours at the moment. Though there were some incoherencies I think with the title. I have difficulty to understand the final paragraph...maybe it's because I just woke up too ^.^ The rhyming seemed to flow pretty well, but I think that in todays standards, it is no longer necessary and I feel that you loose meaning in what you write unless you truly use the word you were searching for. All in all, your story and poetry has evolved compared to what I first read from you, and all I can say is: keep up the good work and motivation of writing on XD |
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