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Thread: Death

  1. #9
    Newbie May_Bloodrose_Pagan is off to a good start May_Bloodrose_Pagan's Avatar
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    Re: Death

    I'm glad all of you like my poem thank you for your support

    Very Deeply Misunderstood

  2. #10
    Otaku Tetsanosuke Kirikami is off to a good start Tetsanosuke Kirikami's Avatar
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    Re: Death

    Okay, well here's my analysis.

    Spelling and Grammar.. Just one or two mistakes. Not too bad there.

    As for flow, well it was flowing quite well, but do to the short-ness it made of of these things as I read it. 3--3--1.. If you could have expanded your ideas, maybe add some metaphors or just crazy canvas fighting then you could have gotten and actual beat.

    But I see that you get your point across.


    "Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion."

  3. #11
    Newbie May_Bloodrose_Pagan is off to a good start May_Bloodrose_Pagan's Avatar
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    Re: Death

    Quote Originally Posted by Tetsanosuke Kirikami View Post
    Okay, well here's my analysis.

    Spelling and Grammar.. Just one or two mistakes. Not too bad there.

    As for flow, well it was flowing quite well, but do to the short-ness it made of of these things as I read it. 3--3--1.. If you could have expanded your ideas, maybe add some metaphors or just crazy canvas fighting then you could have gotten and actual beat.

    But I see that you get your point across.

    few words and a vivid discription is all most people can think of when discriping the grim reaper himself but I appreciate you commentary I shall surely work on that

    Very Deeply Misunderstood

  4. #12
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Death

    I like the rhyming, but I can agree with Tetsanosuke about pretty much most of what he already covered.

    There weren't TOO many grammatical errors, but enough to disrupt the flow (example: syth is spelled 'scythe'). Your sentence structure was okay, just not as ominous as I had hoped a poem of death to be. Still a worthy attempt though. Kudos for the effort. ^_^


  5. #13
    Newbie INUYASHA is off to a good start INUYASHA's Avatar
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    Re: Death

    awsome poemits very intresting since i welcom him it was indeed reaper worth meaning keep it up i want to hear more

  6. #14
    Newbie May_Bloodrose_Pagan is off to a good start May_Bloodrose_Pagan's Avatar
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    Re: Death

    I'm not the best of speller but I do try to spell as much as I can correctly and I'm glad that you all enjoy my poetry so thanks!

    Very Deeply Misunderstood

  7. #15
    Newbie Anton is off to a good start Anton's Avatar
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    Re: Death

    Quote Originally Posted by May_Bloodrose_Pagan View Post
    I'm not the best of speller but I do try to spell as much as I can correctly and I'm glad that you all enjoy my poetry so thanks!
    words have little meaning, it is not the words themselves but the meaning behind them that matters
    I'll get you!! I'll get you all!! even if it's the last thing I do!!"We Must Bow to the Inevitable"

  8. #16
    Otaku Tetsanosuke Kirikami is off to a good start Tetsanosuke Kirikami's Avatar
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    Re: Death

    Quote Originally Posted by Anton View Post
    words have little meaning, it is not the words themselves but the meaning behind them that matters

    Words can have many a meaning or barely any at all unless grouped with other words. You can't deny that when a word is chained and weaved with others, it's most inner direct meaning can be fulfilled, and not just by a single thought, but my a brilliant image of brightness, beauty, darkness, despair, lust and all those feelings, like painting on the blank canvas that is your ideas and mixing colors which give life to your meaning.

    Quote from a poet I respect from AF; 'Luzy' ( Luzifer )
    "... Poetry is not merely just spiritual masturbation! "

    "Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion."

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