Okay, well here's my analysis.
Spelling and Grammar.. Just one or two mistakes. Not too bad there.
As for flow, well it was flowing quite well, but do to the short-ness it made of of these things as I read it. 3--3--1.. If you could have expanded your ideas, maybe add some metaphors or just crazy canvas fighting then you could have gotten and actual beat.
But I see that you get your point across.