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Thread: death

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku hiei9957 may be famous one day hiei9957 may be famous one day hiei9957's Avatar
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    death

    I can't think...I wanna die...
    My heart's exploding...I'm gunna cry...
    My life's falling apart...what should I do?
    I'm gunna fly...do what I gotta do...
    Many things have happened...that I can't hold back any longer...
    Tough times are coming...gotta be stronger
    Death strikes the souls of unvanquished truth...
    What has come of me...a storming, unreal fluke...
    Nobody want's to listen...nobody even cares...
    My best friend never talks to me...I am in great dispair...
    So it's my time, I must go...to find the place where I truly belong...
    So hold on dear friends...you've gotta be strong...
    It'll be hard, yes I know...but we've all got to go sometimes...and this is...
    My time.

    Tanks zyta

  2. #2
    Otaku Bowling Champion Tifa Lockhart is off to a good start
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    Re: death

    It's fun to read your poems. It's well written although in some areas, you can improve a little more. Good poem, keep up the great work. ^_^

  3. #3
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: death

    Nicely done I like it, it rihmes well and you did a good job. keep it up. I enjoy all your poems.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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    Newbie WhiteShadow is off to a good start WhiteShadow's Avatar
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    Re: death

    the rhyming is exquisite and the romantic/gothic elements really bring out your style

    i like this one overall.

    you are really good. have you ever tried to pursue getting some of your work published?
    The world falls beneath the shadows...

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku hiei9957 may be famous one day hiei9957 may be famous one day hiei9957's Avatar
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    Re: death

    naw. i dont think that i am that good. thanks you guys for the feed back.

    Tanks zyta

  6. #6
    Otaku Big Money Champion hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13's Avatar
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    Re: death

    you did very well on this piece. i cant wait to see what you post next.
    Why is everything so ****ing hard for me? Keep me down to what you think I should be! Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry? Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily!

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