+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 9 to 16 of 21

Thread: Death is a part of me...

  1. #9
    Otaku mixed fighter girl may be famous one day mixed fighter girl may be famous one day mixed fighter girl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    where the true warriors fight
    Posts
    251
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Death is a part of me...

    @AS it must be hard to see him...everywhere...i have seen him twice...and almost three but God was kind...i do not know of the pain u speck of but i hope u can contine to fight it.
    .
    I will fight until i find what i'm looking for...you can not judge me on my apperence I am a Warrior. If you have a problem with me..... then my blades will meet your neck.

  2. #10
    Cheetos Overlord jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    The World
    Posts
    3,673
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Re: Death is a part of me...

    I like how this poem flows together ^_^, its very unique.
    The only line i didn't like "But he just smiles and continues haunting me,"
    i think this ryhmed a little too much, its not that wording wasn't good.
    Its just you was on a certain flow on the poem and i think you lost it at that line.

    personal opinion i hope helped you. I see poems as self expression art and in any art there is room for improvement ^_^
    -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate-
    |THE INFAMOUS CHEETOS OVERLORD||IceNineKills|

  3. #11
    Banned Alucard_Spriggan may be famous one day Alucard_Spriggan may be famous one day Alucard_Spriggan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    257
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Re: Death is a part of me...

    Awsome thanks man. I know it sounded weird when I read it but I just left it alone anyway.

  4. #12
    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Protecting my loved one.
    Posts
    1,601
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Death is a part of me...

    very nice dude. I like the idea tht Death is chained to ur body. Keep it up.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

  5. #13
    Banned Alucard_Spriggan may be famous one day Alucard_Spriggan may be famous one day Alucard_Spriggan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    257
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Re: Death is a part of me...

    Yeah but it is cool and it sux all at the same time.

  6. #14
    Warrior Monk kedar may be famous one day kedar may be famous one day kedar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Monk Society
    Posts
    3,006
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: Death is a part of me...

    Overall, it is an almost flawless poem, but I agree with Jade. (^_^) When I got to that line, something felt different, though I can still see the connection. I would try to revise that sentence or the sentence above it to bring way to the natural flow of this poem. Also, in one part of the poem, you seem to say that death is a person, while at the end, it seems to me like you saying that death is not a person (^^), more of a just a natural process. Though is should really matter overall, it would be a good idea if you can make clear of why it can be both.

    All in all, I love it. It's one of those poem, which didn't hinder me in the middle, and made me skip the remaining. So, good job! Write more, and share more.

  7. #15
    Dear Prudence JustLoseIt may be famous one day JustLoseIt may be famous one day JustLoseIt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    868
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Re: Death is a part of me...

    Alucard....I read this poem and thought of you and I didn't really care about the structure of the poem really becuase I knew these were words from your heart and mind.

    Although the poem is good.^^ No doubt about that. But Since I'm your friend and I know its a serious statement and fact in your life...It made it al lot more powerful to read for me.

    Thanks Pyroo. :]

  8. #16
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    4,293
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 38 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: Death is a part of me...

    that was pretty dark sweet man, how did you get inspired to write such a freaking kool poem man?

+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Death's Hunter Part 1
    By Blade X in forum Poems
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Mar 31, 2006, 02:29 PM
  2. Magical Detective Daisuke Part 7
    By Ted Turtle in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Apr 16, 2005, 01:21 PM
  3. Magical Detective Daisuke Part 4
    By Ted Turtle in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Feb 23, 2005, 05:26 PM
  4. Magical Detective Daisuke Part 3
    By Ted Turtle in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Feb 15, 2005, 06:46 AM
  5. Magical Detective Daisuke Part 2
    By Ted Turtle in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Feb 02, 2005, 01:31 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts