Thread: Death is a part of me...

I like how this poem flows together ^_^, its very unique.
The only line i didn't like "But he just smiles and continues haunting me,"
i think this ryhmed a little too much, its not that wording wasn't good.
Its just you was on a certain flow on the poem and i think you lost it at that line.

personal opinion i hope helped you. I see poems as self expression art and in any art there is room for improvement ^_^

Awsome thanks man. I know it sounded weird when I read it but I just left it alone anyway.

very nice dude. I like the idea tht Death is chained to ur body. Keep it up.

Yeah but it is cool and it sux all at the same time.

Overall, it is an almost flawless poem, but I agree with Jade. (^_^) When I got to that line, something felt different, though I can still see the connection. I would try to revise that sentence or the sentence above it to bring way to the natural flow of this poem. Also, in one part of the poem, you seem to say that death is a person, while at the end, it seems to me like you saying that death is not a person (^^), more of a just a natural process. Though is should really matter overall, it would be a good idea if you can make clear of why it can be both.

All in all, I love it. It's one of those poem, which didn't hinder me in the middle, and made me skip the remaining. So, good job! Write more, and share more.

Alucard....I read this poem and thought of you and I didn't really care about the structure of the poem really becuase I knew these were words from your heart and mind.

Although the poem is good.^^ No doubt about that. But Since I'm your friend and I know its a serious statement and fact in your life...It made it al lot more powerful to read for me.

that was pretty dark sweet man, how did you get inspired to write such a freaking kool poem man?