Too against my beliefs to just give up, but I withstood the poem, now for the help.
Using I'm and then switching to I am should be best avoided, using one or the other keeps the flow in the reader's mind at a constant. In the second stanza you were going good with your beat, but then it all goes to hell. If in doubt go for a beat of 8,7,8,7,8, ect. in your stanzas. Having a solid beat is crucial for an excellent poem.
Lastly your word choice was okay, it at least got the message across to the reader. Keeping in mind with a constant beat flow, i'd recommend trying some synnonims if your beat comes up short or too long.
Take die for example, you could say perish, deceiss(sp) to live, fade away, ect. Turning one word into many, or many into one is a helpful talent that will surely help you win contests.