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Thread: Dementia of the mind

  1. #1
    Newbie 59wayz is off to a good start 59wayz's Avatar
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    Dementia of the mind

    Pain is the expression on my face
    Sweat is the fluid seeking through my pores
    Is this a nightmare I ask myself
    Then realization hits

    The sweat is nothing more then a sign
    A sign of my trouble
    The sign of my pain
    This is the things that's haunted me for years

    My unconscious mind controls a lot
    Mainly my dreams
    The dreams of pain and horror
    Primarily intense and excruciating pain

    This is my nightmare
    Whether I consciously know it or not
    This is the dream I cannot escape
    The dream I speak of is what I live in
    The nightmare I speak of is known simply as my Purgatory

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    丹色 月影 BrightShadow_96 may be famous one day BrightShadow_96 may be famous one day BrightShadow_96's Avatar
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    Re: Dementia of the mind

    It's pretty good, though it doesn't flow very nicely. I would suggest rearranging it so that it flows better.

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    Re: Dementia of the mind

    Very well written!

    The flow is a bit off, but you've got this writing thing down. This is a pretty dark poem; darker than most of your work. I like darkness, so you won me over on this one. But I DO have a question about the title...

    What other kind of dimentia can there be? LOL. Sorry man, it's just when I hear dimentia, I think to myself, "I wonder what it's like in that guys mind." If there are other forms of dimentia, I'd like to know. I'm so hungry, I might have dimentia of the belly.

    Okay, I'm done jokin' with ya! Good job on your new poem, Pockets!


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