+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Dementia of the mind

  1. #1
    Newbie 59wayz is off to a good start 59wayz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Minneapolis, MN
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Dementia of the mind

    Pain is the expression on my face
    Sweat is the fluid seeking through my pores
    Is this a nightmare I ask myself
    Then realization hits

    The sweat is nothing more then a sign
    A sign of my trouble
    The sign of my pain
    This is the things that's haunted me for years

    My unconscious mind controls a lot
    Mainly my dreams
    The dreams of pain and horror
    Primarily intense and excruciating pain

    This is my nightmare
    Whether I consciously know it or not
    This is the dream I cannot escape
    The dream I speak of is what I live in
    The nightmare I speak of is known simply as my Purgatory

  2. #2
    丹色 月影 BrightShadow_96 may be famous one day BrightShadow_96 may be famous one day BrightShadow_96's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    The piano. ♫ | ♩
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Re: Dementia of the mind

    It's pretty good, though it doesn't flow very nicely. I would suggest rearranging it so that it flows better.

  3. #3
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Minneapolis, MN
    Thanked 166 Times in 141 Posts

    Re: Dementia of the mind

    Very well written!

    The flow is a bit off, but you've got this writing thing down. This is a pretty dark poem; darker than most of your work. I like darkness, so you won me over on this one. But I DO have a question about the title...

    What other kind of dimentia can there be? LOL. Sorry man, it's just when I hear dimentia, I think to myself, "I wonder what it's like in that guys mind." If there are other forms of dimentia, I'd like to know. I'm so hungry, I might have dimentia of the belly.

    Okay, I'm done jokin' with ya! Good job on your new poem, Pockets!

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. My Mind
    By 59wayz in forum Poems
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Jan 24, 2008, 09:33 AM
  2. Mind
    By Taraqs in forum Poems
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: Sep 09, 2007, 03:52 PM
  3. out of my mind
    By zombie#47 in forum Poems
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Oct 29, 2006, 05:35 PM
  4. Always On My Mind
    By Yaoi-Lover in forum Poems
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: May 27, 2006, 04:37 AM
  5. yM|Mind
    By Shade/K' Heart in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Feb 12, 2005, 09:52 AM


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts