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Thread: Demise

  1. Apr 16, 2006 08:57 PM #1
    !Rave_Grip
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    Demise

    Okay this is a poem I just made, about someone who's dying.

    War, death, gloom everywhere,
    The stench of blood filling the air,

    The sight of defeat seems to come near,
    I sit in a corner, armed, praying for my life

    I can see the writing on the wall,
    Everything I dreamed for, is going to fall,

    Why God? Why? I followed your steps ...
    Where have they escorted me?

    Now I follow my fate,
    Leading me to near oblivion ...

    Yup it's in a war. Its kind of dark.

    Opinions, suggestions and comments!
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  2. Apr 16, 2006 09:00 PM #2
    Mr. K
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    Re: Demise

    Rave.................. this is very dark.
    ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤
    You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
    Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 14, p.271
    Lamie Hynamen "I reject your reality and substitute my own."
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  3. Apr 16, 2006 09:01 PM #3
    !Rave_Grip
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    Re: Demise

    Yeah I know, it's related to something recent. Anyways, any more comments
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  4. Apr 16, 2006 09:05 PM #4
    White_Mage88
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    Re: Demise

    I really liked it. I love dark poetry.
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  5. Apr 16, 2006 09:12 PM #5
    Shinigami's_Angel
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    Re: Demise

    Wow,that's really kool Ravey. I liked it alot
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^
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  6. Apr 16, 2006 09:47 PM #6
    Dark Raven
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    Re: Demise

    Very dark. Have you been watching war movies or M*A*S*H recently?

    Click on my sig and join the fun at my cool forum!
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  7. Apr 16, 2006 10:58 PM #7
    deidre_the_goddess
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    Re: Demise

    hi!!!
    nice dark poem...
    i like it ^_^
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  8. Apr 17, 2006 01:08 AM #8
    Blade X
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    Re: Demise

    Woah, this rates with the poems wrote during WWII. This is dark yet gd. Keep it up.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra
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