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Old Dec 31, 2007, 06:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Destroyed

She lays on the floor, numbness swallowing her whole.
Time continues on as if nothing is happening.
Tears all cried out, all remaining hope shattered.
A haunting love song playing softly in the background.
Coldness creeps in gripping her heart.
Feelings of foolishness flood to the forefront.
Giving everything that she had of herself,
Only to lose everything she held dear.
Finding that feelings for another fill his heart.
Hers turns to stone unwilling to trust or try ever again.
The ticking of the clock counts down the minutes.
At the stroke of midnight celebration sounds,
None of that joy or happiness reaches her.
She closes her eyes one more time, wishing for all of this to end.
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Old Jan 01, 2008, 07:58 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Distroyed

Beautiful, just beautiful...
I have to admit that at first I thought that
it was a poem about love found and lost and that was it.
but I stand corrected and you can really put play on words.

this is my favorite part of the poem.

Giving everything that she had of herself,
Only to lose everything she held dear.
Finding that feelings for another fill his heart.
Hers turns to stone unwilling to trust or try ever again.

and I must just say it again... Beautiful
*wipes away a tear*
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Old Jan 05, 2008, 11:11 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Distroyed

Wow fireandice, that was as overload had said. Beutifull,and yet he is right on your play with the words, quite interesting though, might I suggest stanzas? starting with the one overload kind of added, that would boos this poem up. keep it up I hope to see more.
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