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Reply With QuoteSimple.....but very sad and full of sad emotions and feelings...........
Also your rhythm is a little bit off......but you did a nice job
I'm closing my eyes,
I shed my tears.
I'm thinking of you;
and feel the grief.
I'm sitting alone,
Watching the birds.
I'm waiting alone,
And feel the ache.
I'm calling for you;
and I wonder why,
Why my voice keep echoing
in the wide?
I'm sitting alone,
I'm closing my eyes,
I'm calling for you,
And I wonder why...
Aba,can you hear my voice
even though you are not here?
Can you see my tears
Although you are not near?
Can you? or not?
My mind and soul won't
let it go.
My heart is still waiting
for your call.
Daddy,
did I reach your
soul?
I'll wait forever for your call...
Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.
Simple.....but very sad and full of sad emotions and feelings...........
Also your rhythm is a little bit off......but you did a nice job
DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON
i agree. A little off the rhyming but still quite good. It shows the emotions quite powerful and very good job^-^
♥ to hear more from you
♥~*The princess*~♥
Yeah, Bye.
Awww... this is so sad.... @.@ Nicely written too... Lovely...
Hmm... the repetition is good, the word use is good, but it seems not to flow that good at some places like here:
And at the end I would have dealed the poem in lines differently.Why my voice keep echoing
in the wide?
But alltogether- it's a nice, heartmoving poem ^^ I hope to see more
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