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Thread: discomfort

  1. #1
    Banned levitatinganimelover is off to a good start levitatinganimelover's Avatar
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    discomfort

    im sitting at the graveyard
    everyday there i stay
    watching as the lifeless bodies
    in the dug up earth decay

    no boy understands why
    i always want to stay
    no body understands why
    along the gates i stray

    they ask me if the smell
    makes my nose start to hurt
    i simply reply that it is only when
    mornings light shines when i fell discomfort

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: discomfort

    Wow!!!! This is great!!!!!!!! I really, really like this!!!!!! Nice work!!!!!!!!! Great... it's so dark... and it represents the way people act perfectly... people are scared of what they cannot understand...

    And the descriptions perfectly create the dark aura... nice work!!!

    I' m waiting forward for your next poem!!!!!!! ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Banned levitatinganimelover is off to a good start levitatinganimelover's Avatar
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    Re: discomfort

    wow thanks i didnt expect anyone to like it that much it took me like 5 minutes to write but thanks again

  4. #4
    Otaku Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105's Avatar
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    Re: discomfort

    Doesn't matter how long it took, matters if it's good. Anyways, it's good. Gives out a dark feeling to it. Nice mood. Good job.

    They say, "I will die for my country." I never hear them say, "I will kill for my country."

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    Banned levitatinganimelover is off to a good start levitatinganimelover's Avatar
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    Re: discomfort

    thanks chaos i dont know what else to say

  6. #6
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: discomfort

    morbid. I like it when people mention smells in poetry. That provides such a keen sense of imagery... (or smellgery)... yeah I just made up a word!

    Anyway, I think this is good. Keep it up!
    ... Not Ever Again...

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