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Thread: do you still love me?

  1. #1
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
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    do you still love me?

    Do you still love me?

    I love you
    but do you feel the same?

    I hold you
    but is there
    a place
    you wish to go?

    I kiss you
    but do you kiss me?
    out of sympathy

    Every touch....
    Every kiss...
    Every word...
    Every day...
    makes me wonder
    a little more
    Do you still feel the same?

    i haven't written in a while so yea plz tell me if you like it
    Last edited by ryomakurosaki; Oct 02, 2007 at 04:24 PM.
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    Otaku Shadowfantasy4 may be famous one day Shadowfantasy4 may be famous one day Shadowfantasy4's Avatar
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    Re: do you still love me?

    I think its pretty good,but maybe you should try to make it a little longer and play with the words a bit? ^^ but i like it good job!

  3. #3
    ??* Judge and Executioner ??* White Van Man Champion, Home Run Derby Champion, Mahjongg sport Champion, Jewel Champion, The Asteroids Champion koga23 may be famous one day koga23 may be famous one day koga23's Avatar
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    Re: do you still love me?

    Great job on it,See you made some of the changes i said you should have done..But as was said maybe a little logger next time ? don't get me wrong i still like,Hope to see more soon.
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    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: do you still love me?

    hmmm it was alright i think you need to use more descriptive words. when writting try having the reader painta picture in their mind of what your talking about. but in all it was a good poem. good job ^^
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

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    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: do you still love me?

    I gotta agree with shadow and black rose.. ^^ descriptions are needed...

    Too many questions and no answers.. :/ but still its a nice poem ^^

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    Otaku ING Cricket Champion, Chickenboy Chucky Champion, Dancer duck Champion, Jake,s Fire Power Champion, Bomber Bob Champion, Road Hogs Champion, Van Champion, Hacker Champion, Gorillaz Tiles Champion, Clicken Gold Champion, Galleon Champion, QBeez Champion ihauntforlust is off to a good start
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    Post Re: do you still love me?

    The poem was quite heart touching to me sis, Though it was short but yet it was really sweet

    love ta hear more



    -Zainab

  7. #7
    Otaku rksamurai may be famous one day rksamurai may be famous one day rksamurai's Avatar
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    Re: do you still love me?

    Lately I feel like I can somewhat relate to this, but the only difference is that I know My lover loves me. Its just hard sometimes but things get better.. I would have to say keep writing your feels and they will matter! They really do!
    Thank you Lasura!
    My lover speaks; and he says, 'Arise my beloved my beautiful one and come!' -Song of Songs 2:10

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