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Thread: Don't Encourage a Cough

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Don't Encourage a Cough

    This is supposed to be a ballad. A ballad of the drunk if you will. I am not too keen on writing ballads and would like your feedback before i post this in our clan forum. I guess its supposed to tell a story with four lines of seperation. Please give me your honesty!!


    A feverish night over comes us
    Plunging into bottles
    Beauty’s bar has been lowered
    By a six pack of ale

    Laughs explode from our bellies
    Belching out a song of drunken mastery
    Reddened faces spell a story
    Glazed over eyed comradery

    Enjoying the night we won’t remember
    Spilling honesty like wine
    Moving unseen boundaries happily
    Exposing benefits to disconnected friendships

    Watching the night inch away
    Using toilets as pillows
    A cool surface to cool the nerves
    Losing composure modestly

    Eyelids yield to an unwelcome sun
    Headaches giving evidence unclearly
    An unquenchable thirst moves me
    Unaware of last night’s intoxicated foxtrot
    Last edited by Nympho; Aug 13, 2006 at 10:58 PM.

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  2. #2
    Thanks for the memories princesslady may be famous one day princesslady may be famous one day princesslady's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Encourage a Cough

    i say one hell of a party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

  3. #3
    Otaku pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Encourage a Cough

    I like the very last few lines you wrote Myssy, very powerful.

    o~Piggy-san~o

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    Bored college student fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Encourage a Cough

    Quote Originally Posted by princesslady View Post
    i say one hell of a party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    D i agree whole heartedly princess.

    thanks to zyta for the sick sig and avy!

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Encourage a Cough

    Why thank you! But i was looking for constructive criticzm! But its ok!!!

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  6. #6
    Stray Sheep Aya-kun may be famous one day Aya-kun may be famous one day Aya-kun's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Encourage a Cough

    sounds like a blast time of fun~!!!
    XD
    for once.. a positive non-emo poem I am reading~! XD
    baa~!!
    [CENTER]+ Sheep Blogs at PaperDiaries +

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    Otaku N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Encourage a Cough

    very good.... and that mustve been one hell of a party


    thank u SasuraiHell
    go -=NOOBZ=- clan!

  8. #8
    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Encourage a Cough

    it flows wells n the description is good.....i can definitiely relate to it n stuff

    it's cool keep it up

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

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