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Thread: The Dramatic Rose

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    The Dramatic Rose

    There Was a rose more beautiful than most
    very vain and ignorant was the rose , always
    saying how no one could compare to its beauty
    , and thats why the world hated it so.

    Every pedal so soft and fragile it
    wouldn't take much for it to loose
    them all , still the rose makes such a fuss
    when it thinks not enough attention is given
    to it .

    What a sad pathetic rose it was with
    all it's awesome good sides it wasn't
    enough because the rose wasn't getting
    all the attention , how the rose wanted
    every one to feel sorry for it.

    Drama the rose can't live without it ,maybe one
    day the rose will realise the world dosnt revolve around
    it but till then people will stay miserable when hanging
    out with the shallow rose.
    __________________________________________________ ___
    This poem is about people who have it made pretty good
    and there really isn't anything , but something has to be happening
    for them to have a good day saying things like no one likes me
    or something thats really stupid and annoying.

    Drama makes the world go round but it can also destroy it
    just ask anyone who has had there's ruined by dramatic jerks
    who dont care for anyone but themselves. this poem is just
    that a poem it isnt meant for anyone here ,this is my disclaimer
    so no flaming or arguments and yes even drama want be started.
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: The Dramatic Rose

    i like the message you were trying to get across. but the flow was kinda choppy. i felt that most of the words in the stanzas didn't connect real well.
    but again your message was right on target
    so kudos^^
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

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    Re: The Dramatic Rose

    Every pedal so soft and fragile it
    the correct spelling would be petal right?

    Every pedal so soft and fragile it
    wouldn't take much for it to loose
    them all , still the rose makes such a fuss
    when it thinks not enough attention is given
    to it .
    The flow on this stanza here... sheesh it's kinda hard to read here... :/ and...please.. to make it easier to read...arrange the sentences according to how to read it...and i think the sentences are kinda too long... shorten them a bit...

    As always... descriptive and this time... quite a deep poem...nice use of the methaphore and...nicely written as always... ^^ keep it up man...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: The Dramatic Rose

    Very good poem you've written here, Chalice!

    I know too many "roses" that need to be nipped at the bud, LOL. I like how you put your words together to make a descriptive poem with morals included. Very nice indeed! Keep it up! ^_^


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    Re: The Dramatic Rose

    Cute bro. Nice one
    A bit off in some areas but you still dod great. Liked the flow and the message.
    To sum it up for the retards who cant comprehend, it means get your fat a** of your high horse beyotch.

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

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