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Thread: Dreams of you

  1. #1
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Dreams of you

    Dreams of you…

    Here I lay, awake again
    How many times is that now?
    The dream is back, always the same
    I wish for it to end, but how?

    You are gone from my life
    Destiny took you from me
    This is the cause of all my strife
    Your lovely face is all I can see

    The dreams of you are so vivid
    So clear in my mind
    I feel your presence so often, I get shivers
    I turn around but you are not there

    I want it all to end
    The dreams of you, I cannot take
    For my mind to mend
    I dream of you and then I wake.

    Thanx to all that read my poem.

  2. #2
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    Re: Dreams of you

    Hmmm this is nicely written.. i like the flow of this poem..it's very smooth..and the description is a bit vague..but still good.. ^^

    Hmmm i think the ending is a bit hanging... you should make a better ending... it feels as if it's not complete...

    Nicely written... good job ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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  3. #3
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: Dreams of you

    Well thank you for the comment Rayme.
    I know what you mean. but it is complete.
    and adding any more would ruin the poem.

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