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Thread: Dripping..

  1. #1
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Dripping..

    Dripping...

    Drips....
    The sound echoes..
    With the same rhythm of my footsteps.

    Drips...
    Every step i take gets burdenful.
    It gets harder and harder to move.
    I must get there.

    Drips...
    I see nothing in this blindness.
    Not even a trace of light.

    Drips...
    The pain gets more and more intense.
    Worse than a migraine worse than anything.

    Drips...
    The dripping slows it rhythm.
    So does my foot steps.

    Thump...
    I fell and starts to crawl.
    Towards nowhere.

    ...
    It gets silence now.
    I hear nothing.

    ...
    My body is cold, so cold...
    The trace left by me is long and red.

    Starts from nowhere and ended nowhere.

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
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  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Dripping..

    I like this really much!!!! Again you created the scene right in front of me and made me sad and pitiful...
    One of your best, I think...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Dripping..

    True, the best one you wrote so far Nice repetition of "Drip". Overall I'll give it 9.9 out of 10. Very good ^_^.

  4. #4
    Banned Big Bird Hunting Champion, Magic Ball Champion, Buzzer Champion, Book Worm Champion, Dragonfly Champion, Add It Up Champion, Trivial Blitz 2 Champion KimiFemi is off to a good start KimiFemi's Avatar
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    Re: Dripping..

    ooohhhhhh RayMe its good!!!!
    I love the imagery
    but the topic is so sad

  5. #5
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: Dripping..

    ^^ ty.. ahh.. not that great.. u are exagravating it rave xD

    Ahh.. the most beautiful gift given by god.. im just using it kimi.. ^^ it's called imagination...

    u think so Lasura? ...im thinking of wanna make a poem that would make rave say... HOLY SHYT~!...10/10 xD

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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  6. #6
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Dripping..

    Quote Originally Posted by RayMe View Post
    u think so Lasura? ...im thinking of wanna make a poem that would make rave say... HOLY SHYT~!...10/10 xD
    Yeah... I bet you can do it!!!! I would gice 10/10 for this one too!!! I just like this really much... I can read it again and again...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  7. #7
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: Dripping..

    Hmm.. @.@ i wondered if any1 knew what i meant in this poem..


    Really? yay 10/10 xD though i wanna hear rave say it.. well it will do XD

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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  8. #8
    Otaku Just Pitching Champion, Mile High Club Champion, Penguin Dive Champion, Gold Strike Champion Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star's Avatar
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    Re: Dripping..

    This poem gave me chills, but not in a bad way. ^_^ I like the the sad and dripping scheme, but the flow was interupted. Somewhere in it I got hung up on a stanza. I can't say where, but somewhere the flow got interupted. ^_^ A pretty good right non the less. Keep it up, I look forward to reading more of your poems!

    Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.

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