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Thread: Dripping..

  1. Apr 21, 2007 11:30 AM #1
    RayMe
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    Dripping..

    Dripping...

    Drips....
    The sound echoes..
    With the same rhythm of my footsteps.

    Drips...
    Every step i take gets burdenful.
    It gets harder and harder to move.
    I must get there.

    Drips...
    I see nothing in this blindness.
    Not even a trace of light.

    Drips...
    The pain gets more and more intense.
    Worse than a migraine worse than anything.

    Drips...
    The dripping slows it rhythm.
    So does my foot steps.

    Thump...
    I fell and starts to crawl.
    Towards nowhere.

    ...
    It gets silence now.
    I hear nothing.

    ...
    My body is cold, so cold...
    The trace left by me is long and red.

    Starts from nowhere and ended nowhere.
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  2. Apr 21, 2007 01:21 PM #2
    Lasura
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    Re: Dripping..

    I like this really much!!!! Again you created the scene right in front of me and made me sad and pitiful...
    One of your best, I think...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
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  3. Apr 21, 2007 05:39 PM #3
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    Re: Dripping..

    True, the best one you wrote so far Nice repetition of "Drip". Overall I'll give it 9.9 out of 10. Very good ^_^.
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  4. Apr 21, 2007 07:16 PM #4
    !KimiFemi
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    Re: Dripping..

    ooohhhhhh RayMe its good!!!!
    I love the imagery
    but the topic is so sad
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  5. Apr 21, 2007 08:06 PM #5
    RayMe
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    Re: Dripping..

    ^^ ty.. ahh.. not that great.. u are exagravating it rave xD

    Ahh.. the most beautiful gift given by god.. im just using it kimi.. ^^ it's called imagination...

    u think so Lasura? ...im thinking of wanna make a poem that would make rave say... HOLY SHYT~!...10/10 xD
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  6. Apr 22, 2007 02:04 AM #6
    Lasura
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    Re: Dripping..

    Quote Originally Posted by RayMe View Post
    u think so Lasura? ...im thinking of wanna make a poem that would make rave say... HOLY SHYT~!...10/10 xD
    Yeah... I bet you can do it!!!! I would gice 10/10 for this one too!!! I just like this really much... I can read it again and again...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
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  7. Apr 22, 2007 08:29 PM #7
    RayMe
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    Re: Dripping..

    Hmm.. @.@ i wondered if any1 knew what i meant in this poem..


    Really? yay 10/10 xD though i wanna hear rave say it.. well it will do XD
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  8. Apr 24, 2007 06:05 AM #8
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    Re: Dripping..

    This poem gave me chills, but not in a bad way. ^_^ I like the the sad and dripping scheme, but the flow was interupted. Somewhere in it I got hung up on a stanza. I can't say where, but somewhere the flow got interupted. ^_^ A pretty good right non the less. Keep it up, I look forward to reading more of your poems!

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