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Thread: A dumb poem i made

  1. #1
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    A dumb poem i made

    I am on a live green carpet,
    under a big shady tree,
    right on top of a small hill.
    In my hand is a powerful weapon.
    The greatest weapon man ever made.

    Sharper than any swords.
    Powerful than any mass destruction weapon.
    Accurate than any guns.
    It has won many battles through propaganda.
    It is a weapon that may look harmless.

    A weapon that burst out tears,
    generates hate,builds anger,drive rage,
    but,...
    from all the evil i spoken of it,
    It also can shine the light of hope.
    Carve traces of smile,explodes laughter,
    and burns the spirit.

    This so called weapon is a pencil.
    A weapon so great but it is useless without the god's gift to man,
    Imagination.


    Title is a pencil... @.@ dumb title xD
    Last edited by RayMe; Apr 15, 2007 at 01:31 PM.

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  2. #2
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    Re: A dumb poem i made

    It's not dumb, I like it quite well (and I usually don't like poetry), it's a little bit strange but has an interesting thought in it... Iagree with you that a pencil is a great weapon, especialy nowadays. Nice work, RayMe!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: A dumb poem i made

    Ty.. but it kinda sound dumb to me.. :/ the words in there are too..well simple.. ~.~ i want to enchance my verbs and vocabulary.. hmm.. and making poems are a good way of doing so

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    Re: A dumb poem i made

    Yes, something is stange in this poem, especialy the second verse, it kind of gets of rhythm, but I know I can't writte anything better and I'm sure it was more interesting than those I have to read at school, so its Ok.
    Well... I already fell my vocabulary getting better when chating here, so I bet yoūr vocabulary will get better, though it's good to me.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Re: A dumb poem i made

    Thx for the comfort... thats a little more confidence u gave me there..
    hmm.. i shall continue writing.. and it's weird i suddenly went to a store and bought a pen and a notebook when i was at work.. and right once i got back to my desk at work.. i started writing this poem xD

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    Re: A dumb poem i made

    Your welcome... I know how writers need a little support ( I writte stories).

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  7. #7
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    Re: A dumb poem i made

    Wow, I LOVED this... I have a huge love for imagination! And pencils as well ^_^

    Not dumb by any means... very original topic! It made me smile, probably one of my favorites read on AO.

    Hats off to you RayMe
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  8. #8
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    Re: A dumb poem i made

    xD i think i over exagrated it... *is that the right spelling?xD*
    a little too much on the pencil.. xD
    and to talk about a pencil is kinda dumb..i'd say.. xD

    i tried to make something special and only this come out to me...darn imagination xD

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