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Thread: Dynamic Change In Policy And Attitude

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    Banned beast may be famous one day beast may be famous one day beast's Avatar
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    Dynamic Change In Policy And Attitude

    Many give their blood to a foreign country's sand.
    None expect death by their own hand in the home land.

    Used to know enemies by uniforms they wore.
    Handled like civilians bonds of brotherhood tore.

    Not long ago we would die for the other,
    Today we don't give a damn for each other.

    Most important this must be understood,
    It can happen anywhere not just Fort Hood.

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    Otaku royal cutie pain may be famous one day royal cutie pain may be famous one day royal cutie pain's Avatar
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    Re: Dynamic Change In Policy And Attitude

    "Many give their blood to a foreign country's sand." I love that line good job!
    "None expect death by their own hand in the home land." in this line it didnt flow that well while i was reading it. I think its because of "hand" and "home" land is an alliteration that i was stopped to not get tongue twisted ^^;

    in a poem that is depressing i wouldn't suggest using alliterations since it sort of
    prevents the flow of the poem.

    the 2nd to last line of the last stanza it seems that it was sort of forced to be placed there
    to match "understood" and "Fort Hood"
    great idea but i would prefer the the last stanza to end with a great ending.

    i really liked the last line though

    this poem was fantastic!
    the idea where people who once knew each other were once friends
    but now that they gone in different directions in life they just turn out to be future enemies


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