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Thread: Elie26's work

  1. #25
    Otaku deftbeat may be famous one day deftbeat may be famous one day deftbeat's Avatar
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    Re: Elie26's work

    really impressive
    great work i love the last stanza

  2. #26
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Re: Elie26's work

    this time i try making the ending "less weird"

    Parting

    We met in school, on the net
    So we chatted a bit and our friendship was born
    As the days pass, we got closer

    You became someone I could trust
    Someone I could lean upon
    Share my problems and cry in front of you without shame

    Not really best friends, but as an elderly figure
    An elder brother I never had and i always knew that I could count on you
    People misunderstood and grew jealous

    Nothing prepared me for this kind of hurt
    Never would I thought this day would come
    That day our friendship ended
    I’ve lost two friends and brothers in the process

    I pretended it wasn’t a big deal
    Not to care or mind
    But who was I kidding
    When I cried silently that night

    Knowing that things shall change from now on
    Nothing can ever be the same
    A barrier formed between us
    Worst of all, you loved that barrier

    I wanted you to know how much you meant to me
    And that your happiness is everything I could wish for
    Even if it meant sacrificing our friendship
    I know now that sometimes giving is better than having

    I learned an important lesson on friendship
    So maybe someday we’ll meet
    And catch up the things we’ve missed
    I know that you’ll still be my friend, my brother in my heart

  3. #27
    ??*Everyone Here Hates Me??* Zackraa may be famous one day Zackraa may be famous one day Zackraa's Avatar
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    Re: Elie26's work

    ah I love it albeit it is sad it looks like you made a poem that didnt have a forced ending I really do love it even if its sad

    my fav part of the poem ^^
    I wanted you to know how much you meant to me
    And that your happiness is everything I could wish for
    Even if it meant sacrificing our friendship
    I know now that sometimes giving is better than having


  4. #28
    Otaku Hitokiri Battousai may be famous one day Hitokiri Battousai may be famous one day
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    Re: Elie26's work

    I say its amazing as always,
    the first one really meant something(well both did)
    but i kinda felt the same as in the first one.
    I love it,

  5. #29
    Otaku Clow Sakura may be famous one day Clow Sakura may be famous one day Clow Sakura's Avatar
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    Re: Elie26's work

    This is so cool! One of the best in AO in my opinion.
    Smileys + Me =

  6. #30
    Sophist of Satire Exoparadapsyphobia may be famous one day Exoparadapsyphobia may be famous one day Exoparadapsyphobia's Avatar
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    Re: Elie26's work

    Hmm, nice work , I like how you tell the story in it. If this is based on actual events it seems you were greatly hurt by this person and that you someday hope to mend that with them.

    I should probably make another poem myself soon.
    Death is your most loyal companion, for he will never fail you.

  7. #31
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Elie26's work

    Omg Elie that's based on me o_o Nice work, and you make it sound so real ^_^ And please, the person still loves you ^^

  8. #32
    THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K's Avatar
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    Re: Elie26's work

    I like it elie. At least we all know what was up. I like it alot!
    ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤
    You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
    Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 14, p.271
    Lamie Hynamen "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

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