+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 8 of 9

Thread: Escape (story)

  1. #1
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Texas,USA
    Posts
    226
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Escape (story)

    A story I was writing.. I'll update posts as I go..


    His breath hung heavily in the air, thickened by the damp cold winters night. Frost bite nipping at his face and his bare appendages, with a tense sensation of numbness clashing with the sharp pain of hypothermia. His tattered clothing didn’t help in the matter as the nights air whipped about him sparking up chills that ran up and down his spine. His disoriented mind couldn’t comprehend his whereabouts, only the cold that would surely seal his fate in this freezing world he now called freedom. The breeze whipped about him again, stronger even, intensifying the effect winter would other wise have. Huddling against himself he used the natural warmth of his bare arms against his naked chest to produce as much body heat as he could.
    Finally falling to his knees he felt his conscious mind slipping away as his eye lids grew heavy and the world around him became dimmer. He was going to die here, tonight, he was sure. Only a few days of freedom welcomed with suffering and a lost sense of hope. He felt the cold layer of snow beneath him as his body collapsed in its midst. Exhaustion had finally caught up with him, his eyes closed and he felt the warmth of acute unconsciousness. And from the depths of his mind, beyond the blank existence of nothing a faint sound came to him carried ever so softly by the wind. Was this a sign? He thought to himself, or should he heed it as a warning. The primal instinct to survive broke his miniscule slumber as he wandered back into reality.
    His eyes finally opened with a shield of grogginess that veiled his sight. Beyond the grasp of reality he witnessed several figures moving about in the distance, scurrying about even. He wiped his eyes clean of the cloud that wetted his them and saw again for the first time in several minutes clearly. The figures became shapes, and the shapes formed into people. People he knew, but feared, for it was certain that the authorities after him had spotted him. He inched his way up, regaining his strength, mustering all together for one last pursuit. He finally regained balance though his legs ached and shook under the weight of his body.
    With one last heavy breath he set off, half stumbling, half running back the way he had come, using the side of the withered building as a crutch for when his limbs could not find balance on their own. He ran for what seemed an eternity until he found a break in the long chain of buildings to his left. He swung his body around the corner losing what balance he had, his body clashing with the soft snow that bit and stung at his bare flesh. The primal fear of extinction took him again as he desperately fumbled around with his limbs only able to gain a few feet by clumsily crawling.
    Then when his body could take no more, his mind shut down as he collapsed again., this time without the pain of cold at him, this time with nothing to break his fall let alone the dark empty void of unconsciousness.
    Laying there his mind found itself crashing through past memories, some he considered enjoyable, but the most recent memories tore at his being. He had spent several years in a prison, hoping, waiting for death, wandering when his soul would be torn from his tortured and beaten corpse. Alas death would not come, but an opportunity, a type of refuge, neigh... a salvation. Upon that chance he took it, and with it he condemned himself to be hunted and tracked down. But he would not falter, he would not be stripped of his dignity or freedom, for his sanity was at risk within the walls of that stone cage. The thoughts of the such became clearer in his head, giving him ambition to strive on, to keep going. Yes! He was a survivor, and he would not back down, he would continue fighting until the end, the very end. He concentrated his being, as his thoughts swam through his head, collecting themselves, gaining composure in the current situation. Then.. just then, his senses returned to him, slowly but surely. First the sounds came, the incoherent yelling in the distance, only to be covered by a blanket of wind that expressed its fury as it snatched at and strangled the maimed locks of his hair. Although it caressed his body with lethal intent, it carried a harmonic tone with it, in it. A tone that caught his attention, so beautiful he wished he could die just so he could hear that tone from the gates of heaven and claim it for himself. It was a lovely sound, no.. no.. it was a voice, oh but what voice could deliver him from his frozen grave. He had to find it, he had to seek it out, find it’s source and come to terms with it’s beauty. His body gave way to feeling, the ice casket he presumed he would lay in forever opened up with a spiteful bite of cold pain. Pain... Pain.... pain was good, if he could feel pain, he was alive, and if he was alive he would survive. He opened his eyes, but the ghostly wind crashed the small daggers of snow flakes into his eyes. He winced with a grimaced howl as his body gained full consciousness of its surroundings. The aching pain rushed back into him, choking the warmth he considered death. His elbow hit the ground as he turned himself over to stare twards the sky. How he wished to see the stars beyond its blanket of cloud and snow, and if anything to see the stars once more would be his whole reason of existence. He sat up shaking his head clear, regaining his awareness to his immediate danger. He looked himself over of any mortal wounds, for they may have found him and attacked him while he was laid upon the snow. No.. although he was covered in snow from head to toe, which may have helped in the way of some accidental camouflage. He stood up, balancing himself securely, he was ready for anything now, ready to live his life, ready for a real chance of freedom. He glanced his surrounding as he huddled against himself. His eyes, washing over every inch of the alley that wasn’t covered by the dense snow dancing and twirling so close to him, shielding his vision beyond hands breadth away. He found a wall and inched his way along it, feeling icy bricks, hoping for a unscathed shelter he could take refuge in. But wait, the sound again, carried on the wind, carried within the wind. Like some virus encrypted in computer software meant to catch the uses off guard. Where was this sound, this voice coming from? He kept inching his way as it grew closer, and closer.
    Last edited by -=Broken^Halo=-; Sep 02, 2006 at 10:25 AM.
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  2. #2
    S.E.L - sexy etna lover Baal may be famous one day Baal may be famous one day Baal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Mayaguez
    Posts
    1,063
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Escape (story)

    O-O
    its..its awesome
    and the story almost rimes in evry final sentence...
    keep em coming. /..\

    i mean that the story is almost like a poem.
    Last edited by Baal; Sep 01, 2006 at 09:39 PM.



    perdoname michelle!

  3. #3
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Texas,USA
    Posts
    226
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Escape (story)

    Ryme eh? never meant for such things.. you should point it out.. I don't see what you're talking about >.<
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  4. #4
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Texas,USA
    Posts
    226
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Escape (story)

    Apparently people don't like to read very much >.>
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  5. #5
    Newbie Dandoria may be famous one day Dandoria may be famous one day Dandoria's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    18
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Re: Escape (story)

    This looks really good. I don't have a command of English good enough to write stories in that language, because I live in the Netherlands, but I do write books in Dutch; fantasy, an octalogy, to be exact. I appreciate your style. You have great potention to become a writer by profession, if you're not already. Do you do this a lot?

    - Darehan ci darevur -

  6. #6
    Newbie Nameless Shadow may be famous one day Nameless Shadow may be famous one day Nameless Shadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Escape (story)

    Its o.k. you should keep'em going.

  7. #7
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Texas,USA
    Posts
    226
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Escape (story)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dandoria View Post
    Do you do this a lot?

    Yes.. quite often indeed.. I also "RP" alot, which has developed my writing skills, and I'm just a silly kid that likes fantasy.. no professional or anything ^.^
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  8. #8
    S.E.L - sexy etna lover Baal may be famous one day Baal may be famous one day Baal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Mayaguez
    Posts
    1,063
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Escape (story)

    Quote Originally Posted by -=Broken^Halo=- View Post
    Yes.. quite often indeed.. I also "RP" alot, which has developed my writing skills, and I'm just a silly kid that likes fantasy.. no professional or anything ^.^
    and u make em them really good and kind of perfect.
    but most of the people dont understand them.



    perdoname michelle!

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. A Story
    By shadowxalex in forum Poems
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Aug 22, 2006, 11:52 AM
  2. story!!!
    By moongoddess in forum The Chat Forum
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: May 28, 2006, 02:11 PM
  3. Escape From Reality [P]
    By esthered in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: Apr 25, 2005, 07:39 PM
  4. tsunami escape
    By linx88 in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: Jan 26, 2005, 12:28 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts