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Thread: Eternal

  1. #1
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Eternal

    Eternal

    There you are, my daylight star
    Trying to reach yet your too far
    Sprouting wings flowing free
    Why won't you come and save me?

    Eyes of pure
    That are truly your
    Continue to sing to me
    As it set me free

    Love like ours
    Are like a precious flower
    That grow so endlessly
    And look so dearly

    Heart so touch
    Emotion grow so much
    Start to beat so rapidly
    But still becomes so deadly

    Goodbye to all
    Causes tears to fall
    Dividing each love apart
    That destroys a heart

    So here we are again
    So loved since then
    Becoming more than friends
    That will never end

    That every touch of our long infernal
    Makes our love only last so
    Eternal

    -------------------------------------------
    Yah.... Well I didn't know what to put for the title so sorry
    and the poem not so good so sorry... heheheee... ^^
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

  2. #2
    new piks in mem gallery animechick may be famous one day animechick may be famous one day animechick's Avatar
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    Re: Eternal

    i liked this. it had a nice simple flow to it and then the ending was different which gave it an unexpected turn. i liked it to the end!
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  3. #3
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: Eternal

    Why won't you come and save me?
    wow, that was one part I can relate to lol but anyways, I absolutely love this poem~! So much emotion put into every word~! I loved it kiwi good job~!^^



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  4. #4
    Banned Monkey Jump Champion, Karts Champion, Stagedive Dewy Champion, Harry Potter: The Marauder`s Map Champion, Weasley Breakfast Champion, Grand Slam Shredder Champion, Moon Skate Champion, Field Goal FootBall Champion, DodgeBall Champion, Gasbag Smackdown Champion, Makai Hockey Champion, Monkey Nut Champion, The Ordinary Boys Champion, Traffic Control Champion, Roving Reporter Champion, Prawn Of The Dead Champion, Sky Fire Champion, Musical Lantern Champion, Master Qwan,s Mahjongg Champion, Master Mahjongg Champion, Mahjongg: Alchemy Champion, Flash Tiles Champion, Mahjongg 3D Champion, Mahjongg 2 Champion, Mahjongg Fast Champion, Stupid Space Shooting Race Game Champion The GunGrave of Trigun may be famous one day The GunGrave of Trigun may be famous one day
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    Re: Eternal

    It was weird for me im like what what i really didnt care for it i get it but thought it was weird but keep writing.

  5. #5
    Otaku Tetsanosuke Kirikami is off to a good start Tetsanosuke Kirikami's Avatar
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    Re: Eternal

    " The Garden of Everything " Seems like an inspiration for this one.

    Anyway, Only a tiny bit of grammar issues. not much.

    It was okay, it didn't spark me much but you tried and that's what counts.

    Well done.




    "Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion."

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