hyuuga13

I'm not quite done with this. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. please tell me what you think.

Love is a failure
Love is a loss
Too much depression
All words are false

Death is much better
I don’t know why
Who should put up
With all the phrases and lies

Too many games
All strings broken
My heart hangs limp
I’ll never love again


No point in loving
No point in living
The knife at my wrist
So much blood no need to twist

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Why is everything so ****ing hard for me? Keep me down to what you think I should be! Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry? Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily!

Lasura

Hmmm... I like it, so you can consider your poem as very good ^^ because I don't like suicide poems, they make me too much worried about the people who write them... This one has something enchanting...

A lill bit of punctuation wouldn't harm.. otherways people might misunderstand some things and here:
"Who should put up with
All the phrases and lies"
Put the "with" in the next line, I think then it would be easier to read it...

The rest of the things are perfect for me.
And now, when I read it for the second time, I have to say that the last stranza is just freaking good... scary...

Nice work here!!!

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My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge