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Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in ol'Michigan
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![]() Credits: 10,866 | Faith.. Heed my word in the soul of fire, For past the grueling tides of sorrow Will be the place so bright Singing onwards happily like a choir The sopranos and trembling vocals heard So powerful and beautiful hyped desire No real lust, darkened by greed Faith.. The path a soul would wish to take So astounding and high farther then the sky To making the path we wallow, we make That way we all see, The hand of the light that is our kindness A boundless cooling, calming breeze Such a swirl into the powerful hands of divine Lay your doubts upon his floor, and dive Dive into the flower of life’s essence Nectar of quintessence Faith.. Because when you take the hand of your divine Whoever it is or whatever it may be, given your sign When you flow forth your faith so merrily You feel the end never edging close, never in life’s time So great and full, so powerful and close, everywhere and warm Faith.. So on and on life rages and floats Rocking to tides of storms inside your body, the boat And you pray to your way of sacred psalms Knowing that though you live a hard live Nothing can never truly go wrong Faith..
__________________ "Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion." |
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Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Above and Beyond
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![]() ![]() Credits: 13,445 | Re: Faith.. *closes her eyes* Faith... Very well written. *sobs* Inspiring ^_^ (Editing cause Corvus woke me up xD) I like the way you use your words in a dreamy way. Everytime a dialogue finishes, you add some more feeling with the poem by writing: "faith..."
__________________ Last edited by Yasmine; Jan 16, 2008 at 06:44 PM. |
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![]() Otaku | Re: Faith.. Quote:
My one gripe with this piece is that you need to add some more punctuation to create the sway that poetry usually has... (unless you mean for this to seem concrete and solid then it's great.)
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Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in ol'Michigan
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![]() Credits: 10,866 | Re: Faith.. Quote:
Ehh, I could have added a few commas here and there, yet I found that it would make it look a bit ugly. x3 But thanks for pointing that out.
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