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Thread: Faith..

  1. #1
    Otaku Tetsanosuke Kirikami is off to a good start Tetsanosuke Kirikami's Avatar
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    Faith..

    Heed my word in the soul of fire,
    For past the grueling tides of sorrow
    Will be the place so bright
    Singing onwards happily like a choir
    The sopranos and trembling vocals heard
    So powerful and beautiful hyped desire
    No real lust, darkened by greed

    Faith..

    The path a soul would wish to take
    So astounding and high farther then the sky
    To making the path we wallow, we make
    That way we all see,
    The hand of the light that is our kindness
    A boundless cooling, calming breeze
    Such a swirl into the powerful hands of divine
    Lay your doubts upon his floor, and dive
    Dive into the flower of life’s essence
    Nectar of quintessence

    Faith..

    Because when you take the hand of your divine
    Whoever it is or whatever it may be, given your sign
    When you flow forth your faith so merrily
    You feel the end never edging close, never in life’s time
    So great and full,
    so powerful and close,
    everywhere and warm

    Faith..

    So on and on life rages and floats
    Rocking to tides of storms
    inside your body, the boat
    And you pray to your way of sacred psalms
    Knowing that though you live a hard live
    Nothing can never truly go wrong

    Faith..

    "Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion."

  2. #2
    Otaku Yasmine may be famous one day Yasmine may be famous one day Yasmine's Avatar
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    Re: Faith..

    *closes her eyes* Faith...

    Very well written. *sobs* Inspiring ^_^

    (Editing cause Corvus woke me up xD)
    I like the way you use your words in a dreamy way. Everytime a dialogue finishes, you add some more feeling with the poem by writing: "faith..."
    Last edited by Yasmine; Jan 16, 2008 at 07:44 PM.

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    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
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    Re: Faith..

    Quote Originally Posted by Yasmine View Post
    *closes her eyes* Faith...

    Very well written. *sobs* Inspiring ^_^
    ok I agree this is a good poem but remember to include some constructive criticism or else the admins will close the thread...
    My one gripe with this piece is that you need to add some more punctuation to create the sway that poetry usually has... (unless you mean for this to seem concrete and solid then it's great.)

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  4. #4
    Otaku Tetsanosuke Kirikami is off to a good start Tetsanosuke Kirikami's Avatar
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    Re: Faith..

    Quote Originally Posted by Corvus View Post
    ok I agree this is a good poem but remember to include some constructive criticism or else the admins will close the thread...
    My one gripe with this piece is that you need to add some more punctuation to create the sway that poetry usually has... (unless you mean for this to seem concrete and solid then it's great.)

    Ehh, I could have added a few commas here and there, yet I found that it would make it look a bit ugly.

    x3

    But thanks for pointing that out.

    "Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion."

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