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Old Jan 16, 2008, 04:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Faith..

Heed my word in the soul of fire,
For past the grueling tides of sorrow
Will be the place so bright
Singing onwards happily like a choir
The sopranos and trembling vocals heard
So powerful and beautiful hyped desire
No real lust, darkened by greed

Faith..

The path a soul would wish to take
So astounding and high farther then the sky
To making the path we wallow, we make
That way we all see,
The hand of the light that is our kindness
A boundless cooling, calming breeze
Such a swirl into the powerful hands of divine
Lay your doubts upon his floor, and dive
Dive into the flower of life’s essence
Nectar of quintessence

Faith..

Because when you take the hand of your divine
Whoever it is or whatever it may be, given your sign
When you flow forth your faith so merrily
You feel the end never edging close, never in life’s time
So great and full,
so powerful and close,
everywhere and warm

Faith..

So on and on life rages and floats
Rocking to tides of storms
inside your body, the boat
And you pray to your way of sacred psalms
Knowing that though you live a hard live
Nothing can never truly go wrong

Faith..
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Old Jan 16, 2008, 05:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Faith..

*closes her eyes* Faith...

Very well written. *sobs* Inspiring ^_^

(Editing cause Corvus woke me up xD)
I like the way you use your words in a dreamy way. Everytime a dialogue finishes, you add some more feeling with the poem by writing: "faith..."
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Old Jan 16, 2008, 06:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Faith..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasmine View Post
*closes her eyes* Faith...

Very well written. *sobs* Inspiring ^_^
ok I agree this is a good poem but remember to include some constructive criticism or else the admins will close the thread...
My one gripe with this piece is that you need to add some more punctuation to create the sway that poetry usually has... (unless you mean for this to seem concrete and solid then it's great.)
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Old Jan 16, 2008, 06:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
Diamond in the Rough
 
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Re: Faith..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Corvus View Post
ok I agree this is a good poem but remember to include some constructive criticism or else the admins will close the thread...
My one gripe with this piece is that you need to add some more punctuation to create the sway that poetry usually has... (unless you mean for this to seem concrete and solid then it's great.)

Ehh, I could have added a few commas here and there, yet I found that it would make it look a bit ugly.

x3

But thanks for pointing that out.
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