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Thread: Falling behind

  1. #1
    S.E.L - sexy etna lover Baal may be famous one day Baal may be famous one day Baal's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
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    Falling behind

    Fallin behind

    When i don't make it to a point
    I start thinking about my mind
    About the past and whats behind
    It pushes me of the line

    Weres theres an eternal pain
    When i start losing fate
    Thats just doesnt go away
    And come back like the rain

    Trying to think whats behond
    About my future home
    I cant keep on going like this
    If i cant keep my hopes
    Or i sit, surrender till the fin

    perdoname michelle!

  2. #2
    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
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    Re: Falling behind

    Thats A really good Poem,it took me a while to understand tho, but when i did it turned out awesome
    Shippo is determined to become a lvl higher
    I'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
    <3 Atomik_Sprout <3

  3. #3
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Falling behind

    A few spelling and capitalization errors. They rhyming was cute at first, and remained cute. However, I believe the verse in each stanza shouldnt have rhymed.
    Seduced by Flesh

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