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![]() Jigoku Shoujo Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: somewhere far far away from here.
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![]() ![]() Credits: 9,881 | Falling Through Darkness Darkness All I see is darkness surronding me My eye are open, alert and yet all I see is darkness My heart is fluttering betaing fast faster than normal as if I were falling through the endless darkness Oh where are you my beloved angel my knight in shinning armor why aren't you here to save me from this eternal darkness? Hatred and despair claim my heart tears of sorrow flow down my cheeks I open my eyes and see an altar a black altar as black as the endless darkness surronding me I smile happy to be rid of this eternal darkness I closed my eyes and feel unbearable pain my bones shattering into pieces I open my eyes again and see a man wearing a black cloak as black as the eternal darkness I hold my hand up seeking salvation but I only see darkness then Death.
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Heavy Metal Goddess Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: a place where the stars shine as bright as the sun
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![]() ![]() Credits: 2,376 | Re: Falling Through Darkness Very dark and interesting poem. I liked it it told a good story.
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Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida
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![]() ![]() Credits: 1,490 | Re: Falling Through Darkness Capitalization and correct punctuation would allow me to read this poem.
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I hate idiots on AO. Kill Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Life is an illusion.
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![]() ![]() Credits: 14,876 | Re: Falling Through Darkness Come on Kasai... It seems like somebody needs a hug ^_^ It's a sad end...
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![]() Jigoku Shoujo Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: somewhere far far away from here.
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![]() ![]() Credits: 9,881 | Re: Falling Through Darkness Kasai....that's a very poor excuse not to read someone's poem. Most people do that on purpose.. Incidently I wrote this poem in the eigth grade when I was very happy..I couldn't remember how the rest went so I made some changes..but its still the same...
__________________ ![]() Thanx zyta for the awesome set Rai's Gallery: Rai's myspace : Rai's Deviantart: Angelic Ruin:SpiritDetective |
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Elie Jelly Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hell is an understatement
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![]() ![]() Credits: 2,051 | Re: Falling Through Darkness Quote:
Anyways, the theme is quite common , death,darkness and all (I write a lot of stuff like that too ) Overall I won't say it's a great poem, merely an OK one for me but your title did captured my attention ^^ | |
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Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In forests of fantasy...
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![]() ![]() Credits: 1,638 | Re: Falling Through Darkness Quote:
Anyways, like Elie26, the title also captured my attention. The title is well-suited for your poem content, in my opinion, and was able to give me just the right idea to expect in the poem. The good thing is that the title was also supported by your poem content. And with the spelling errors aside, I'd say your poem had been a great read for me. I liked the story you told in the verses, and I was especially impressed with the conclusion. The last stanza definitely gave your whole poem a unique and impressive twist, and exalted the whole poem. Good job!
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![]() NalaMidnight Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Virginia
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![]() ![]() Credits: 14,170 | Re: Falling Through Darkness This is a good poem. I like it. Though the spelling could be fixed. But ti was good poem verall. I really like it. Keep it up
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![]() 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
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![]() ![]() Credits: 59,148 | Re: Falling Through Darkness Hmm like what the guys said up there .. i agree with em ^^ not a bad poem... 2 stars~! for Ok~! |
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Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: North Carolina
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![]() ![]() Credits: 1,028 | Re: Falling Through Darkness I feel like the broken record. The spelling was interesting, run a spellcheck, but the images worked well and it just needs a little polishing. three stars! |
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