fates twist

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Feb 28, 2007, 10:29 AM

Blood drips to the floor as
the flesh is split by the blade,
a head fall's to the floor , a silent
scream never heard , horror's flash
but for a second then there is nothing.

A man walks on as the hallway gets
dim and a candle goes out with the winds
breath as foot steps echo on the wet floor,
a heart beat quickens as murmurs are heard
as a hand is raised with intent.

sweat beads as he approaches the corner
and finds he fate as 2 people stand there guarding
a way into the next chamber , he thinks to him self
with a smile that everything gained and those he lost
have brought him to this moment.

he slolwy walks from the shadows as he speaks
words that could be his last as he ready's him self
for the time his life has brung him to.

this poem is about taking a moment and embracing
it like it was your last and making sure it counts.
its difrent from other poems but any comments or
suggestions are welcomed.

BlueFox1 · Feb 28, 2007, 10:32 AM

Bro this poem is awesome, it like your telling a story! The image it presents is awesome. I can picture it as I read it good job and I'm definitely looking forward to more from you!

Angel_in_hell · Feb 28, 2007, 10:40 AM

i love it! it does tell a story and i think that u really nailed it! its dark and scary yet you can read it over and over and get a new pic in your haed!

Shinigami's_Angel · Mar 01, 2007, 09:35 AM

Wow...I'm left speachless here big bro!! This was amamzing and so awesome!!! The story that it presented was dark and wonderful!! Awesome job as always big bro!!

Serenity Carter · Mar 01, 2007, 09:56 AM

Very... umm... vivid. I like it. BlueFox1 is right. it does seem like you are telling a story. Dread.

CherryBlossom18 · Mar 02, 2007, 01:50 AM

It is a great poem sweetie. I could imagine what was happening as I read it. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to read your next one.

fredsboo · Mar 02, 2007, 05:43 AM

I liked it alot it was really good n u could imagine it as u read it......hope to read another...

*Ky-lyrra* · Mar 02, 2007, 06:48 AM

Well Holder I liked this it's alittle darker then I'm used to reading from you and change is something of a good thing. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to read the next one.

!The White Wolf · Mar 02, 2007, 08:43 PM

This poem is darker than all your others, chris-san! I felt as though I finally reached the dark depths of what is in your mind. Good poem Chris, and I hope to read more of your work!

Feb 28, 2007, 10:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,795 Thanks: 21 Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts Credits: 3,212	fates twist Blood drips to the floor as the flesh is split by the blade, a head fall's to the floor , a silent scream never heard , horror's flash but for a second then there is nothing. A man walks on as the hallway gets dim and a candle goes out with the winds breath as foot steps echo on the wet floor, a heart beat quickens as murmurs are heard as a hand is raised with intent. sweat beads as he approaches the corner and finds he fate as 2 people stand there guarding a way into the next chamber , he thinks to him self with a smile that everything gained and those he lost have brought him to this moment. he slolwy walks from the shadows as he speaks words that could be his last as he ready's him self for the time his life has brung him to. this poem is about taking a moment and embracing it like it was your last and making sure it counts. its difrent from other poems but any comments or suggestions are welcomed. __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
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Feb 28, 2007, 10:32 AM	#2 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Upcoming Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,176	Re: fates twist Bro this poem is awesome, it like your telling a story! The image it presents is awesome. I can picture it as I read it good job and I'm definitely looking forward to more from you! __________________
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Feb 28, 2007, 10:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
Angel_in_hell Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cali Posts: 164 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 210	Re: fates twist i love it! it does tell a story and i think that u really nailed it! its dark and scary yet you can read it over and over and get a new pic in your haed! __________________ IN THE END IT DOSENT EVEN MATTER
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Mar 01, 2007, 09:35 AM	#4 (permalink)
Shinigami's_Angel In The Arms Of My Lover Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In Axel's Closet!! watch's him sleep XD Posts: 687 Thanks: 40 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 3,351	Re: fates twist Wow...I'm left speachless here big bro!! This was amamzing and so awesome!!! The story that it presented was dark and wonderful!! Awesome job as always big bro!! __________________ Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^
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Mar 01, 2007, 09:56 AM	#5 (permalink)
Serenity Carter Newbie Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Trinidad, D Caribbean Posts: 47 Thanks: 5 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 689	Re: fates twist Very... umm... vivid. I like it. BlueFox1 is right. it does seem like you are telling a story. Dread. __________________ Life's short so have a laugh about it
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Mar 02, 2007, 01:50 AM	#6 (permalink)
CherryBlossom18 Heavy Metal Goddess Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: a place where the stars shine as bright as the sun Posts: 578 Thanks: 1 Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 2,336	Re: fates twist It is a great poem sweetie. I could imagine what was happening as I read it. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to read your next one. __________________ "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach" Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice Thanks so much I love it!
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Mar 02, 2007, 05:43 AM	#7 (permalink)
fredsboo Newbie Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: tx newton lol Posts: 74 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 205	Re: fates twist I liked it alot it was really good n u could imagine it as u read it......hope to read another... __________________ *Im the type of girl who burst out laughing in silents about something that happened yesterday*
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Mar 02, 2007, 06:48 AM	#8 (permalink)
Ky-lyrra Lost In My Own World Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Fruityville, Florida Posts: 1,531 Thanks: 4 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 5,059	Re: fates twist Well Holder I liked this it's alittle darker then I'm used to reading from you and change is something of a good thing. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to read the next one. __________________ ™Soon To Be Mother™ Thanks For The Tag Aiora!
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Mar 02, 2007, 08:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
!The White Wolf Why so serious? Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2,580 Thanks: 9 Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 10,073	Re: fates twist This poem is darker than all your others, chris-san! I felt as though I finally reached the dark depths of what is in your mind. Good poem Chris, and I hope to read more of your work!
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