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Thread: The Father's Son

  1. #1
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
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    The Father's Son

    The Father's Son

    Blood is a curse.
    His is yours,
    and its course
    through your veins
    is a path you fear you
    might follow.

    Life is pain.
    He gave you this,
    and his words
    haunt your days;
    you wilt beneath shadows
    of cruelty.

    Love is an illusion.
    He denied you,
    and anger
    smashed every dream and hope
    to pieces.


    And then she.


    Blood is life.
    His is yours,
    but the flow
    and measure is
    decided by the one
    who bleeds.

    Life is time.
    He gave you this,
    but you have
    the means to move
    the clock's hands wherever
    you wish.

    Love is yours.
    He denied you,
    but she gives
    all of herself to you
    and wants nothing more than
    your smile.
    sig by Pyro Psycho

  2. #2
    ~always by your side~ Radarix Champion, Virus 2 Champion, Virus 3 Champion fireandice is off to a good start fireandice's Avatar
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    Re: The Father's Son

    Wow! That was really good. Now I'm jealous of you.lol That had a ton of meaning in it. If only others can see it the sameway. I know someone like this. I wish they could understand and follow your very good advice that I see here in this poem. You are diffidently good with your words.

  3. #3
    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: The Father's Son

    great use in details^^ i enjoyed reading it especially when you wrote,
    "Love is an illusion.
    He denied you,
    and anger
    smashed every dream and hope
    to pieces."

    you did an excellent job!=] i would love to read more ^^
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

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    Re: The Father's Son

    whoa... my my... a very good poem.. *standing applause* nicely done there... im very impressed... I like it very much...

    An excellent job like my little sis just said ^^

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    Otaku ING Cricket Champion, Chickenboy Chucky Champion, Dancer duck Champion, Jake,s Fire Power Champion, Bomber Bob Champion, Road Hogs Champion, Van Champion, Hacker Champion, Gorillaz Tiles Champion, Clicken Gold Champion, Galleon Champion, QBeez Champion ihauntforlust is off to a good start
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    Smile Re: The Father's Son

    Wow,



    I agree, A LOT of meanings shown in this poem!

    I like how you wrote the poem, and the style and how it was written .

    Though I spot a few mistakes in the first verse, you forgot some apostrophes

    LOL

    -Zainab

  6. #6
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
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    Re: The Father's Son

    Quote Originally Posted by ihauntforlust View Post
    Though I spot a few mistakes in the first verse, you forgot some apostrophes
    Hmm...on the off chance that you're not joking, mind pointing out the errors for me? I try to check my work thoroughly before I post it, but it's entirely possible that I missed something.
    sig by Pyro Psycho

  7. #7
    Otaku ice viper is off to a good start ice viper's Avatar
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    Re: The Father's Son

    gren I realy like your poem. With so much thought and understanding. I can say that your the master of poems to me any ways. Nicely done. I can learn a thing or two from you.

  8. #8
    Otaku ING Cricket Champion, Chickenboy Chucky Champion, Dancer duck Champion, Jake,s Fire Power Champion, Bomber Bob Champion, Road Hogs Champion, Van Champion, Hacker Champion, Gorillaz Tiles Champion, Clicken Gold Champion, Galleon Champion, QBeez Champion ihauntforlust is off to a good start
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    Re: The Father's Son

    Quote Originally Posted by gren View Post
    Hmm...on the off chance that you're not joking, mind pointing out the errors for me? I try to check my work thoroughly before I post it, but it's entirely possible that I missed something.
    alright

    lol



    Blood is a curse.
    His is your's,
    and it's course

    I know only two but...lol...I love correcting work.

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