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Thread: Fear of One So Gentle

  1. #1
    Otaku rksamurai may be famous one day rksamurai may be famous one day rksamurai's Avatar
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    Fear of One So Gentle

    Fear of One So Gentle

    Do you hear those screams?
    They are screams of terror,
    They fear you,
    They shun you,
    They despise you,
    What have you done to them to hate you so?

    A beast of the night,
    A river of blood flows from your breasts,
    Hair damp and salted from the rain water,
    Skin rough from the Earth that doesn’t even want you,
    Pain reaches your eyes,
    The same pain that brought me to you,

    All you wanted was comfort,
    But you feared the pain so you hadn’t let me in,
    I kept coming to you with no prevail,
    Many a times I came and left in sadness,

    Then I came across a scar,
    The one you tried so desperately to hide,
    I embraced you and pressed my lips against your treasure,
    You then melted in my arms,
    Tears fell from our cheeks,

    Now you smile,
    Not a smile of a beast,
    But something beautiful,
    Something no longer delicate; something strong,
    A sign of happiness,
    That of which spreads happiness to me.

    I worte this a while back and I just forgot about it. Plz comment and enjoy.
    Last edited by rksamurai; Jan 05, 2007 at 03:01 PM.
    Thank you Lasura!
    My lover speaks; and he says, 'Arise my beloved my beautiful one and come!' -Song of Songs 2:10

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    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
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    Re: Fear of One So Gentle

    it's really good! the only mistake is this sentence
    What have you don’t to them to hate you so?
    just replace the word don't with done. and that's it. The poem to me is just perfect to me. it conveys the right emotions. it flows well for me.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

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    Otaku rksamurai may be famous one day rksamurai may be famous one day rksamurai's Avatar
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    Re: Fear of One So Gentle

    Quote Originally Posted by Blade X View Post
    it's really good! the only mistake is this sentence

    just replace the word don't with done. and that's it. The poem to me is just perfect to me. it conveys the right emotions. it flows well for me.
    Yea... thanks about that.. There goes my bad typing skills again. >.<
    Thank you Lasura!
    My lover speaks; and he says, 'Arise my beloved my beautiful one and come!' -Song of Songs 2:10

  4. #4
    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: Fear of One So Gentle

    This is a good poem I really like it. So much emotion. I really like it. Keep it up. I hope to see more.

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
    ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~

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