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Thread: the feeling inside

  1. #9
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: the feeling inside

    Well I must say that this is just great!!!! A wonderful, wonderful work...You've done such a geat job with everything- the descriptions, the emotion, the style, the wording... it's all very nice and makes the poem wonderful!!!

    I realy enjoyed reading this and I really like it and could read it again and again (wtch is good because I usualy don't- can't even read Lord of the Rings the second time)... Great work!!! Write more!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  2. #10
    Otaku ING Cricket Champion, Chickenboy Chucky Champion, Dancer duck Champion, Jake,s Fire Power Champion, Bomber Bob Champion, Road Hogs Champion, Van Champion, Hacker Champion, Gorillaz Tiles Champion, Clicken Gold Champion, Galleon Champion, QBeez Champion ihauntforlust is off to a good start
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    Cool Re: the feeling inside

    No one notices her tears because they are mixed with the rain.
    She sits and stares at her paper with the little sunlight that is left,
    As the rain washes away her ink filled words,
    Her paper becomes a vast blotch of pure
    I love those lines.......I love the picture I get between those lines.
    I really like this poem...Can't help but to read it over and over ^^
    I would like to hear more from you.... or else



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  3. #11
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: the feeling inside

    The description were flawless... nicely done... ^^ i like it very much too...

    a good poem.. but i dont get the ending much though... hmm...

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  4. #12
    Otaku ING Cricket Champion, Chickenboy Chucky Champion, Dancer duck Champion, Jake,s Fire Power Champion, Bomber Bob Champion, Road Hogs Champion, Van Champion, Hacker Champion, Gorillaz Tiles Champion, Clicken Gold Champion, Galleon Champion, QBeez Champion ihauntforlust is off to a good start
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    Re: the feeling inside

    Quote Originally Posted by RayMe View Post
    The description were flawless... nicely done... ^^ i like it very much too...

    a good poem.. but i dont get the ending much though... hmm...
    I agree, I love the flawless as well.


    No one notices her tears because they are mixed with the rain.
    She sits and stares at her paper with the little sunlight that is left,
    As the rain washes away her ink filled words,
    Her paper becomes a vast blotch of pure
    that line is easy to understand.
    That line is....also confusing to me
    Uhhh....The rain washes away her words that she wrote down?
    Yep.....that line also is confusing but somehow....I just manage an image...


  5. #13
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: the feeling inside

    Sorry that it was confusing to most of you! Bascicly she was righting a story about how she had wished things were! but she new it couldnt be come reality, becasue all reality did was wash away her story, and she became empty again! I would love to thatnk you all for comenting! it was nice of you to take the time to right a response!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
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  6. #14
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: the feeling inside

    Wow... Yanno I really love your writing. I like the way this one made me feel and the story it told. It was like...watching a movie almost. I really love the way you write. You need to keep it up. Seriously. I like the whole "blotch of emptiness" concept. Very interesting!

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  7. #15
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: the feeling inside

    Thank you kindly Bratling I really appreciate your comments! come again! I like to hear from you!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  8. #16
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: the feeling inside

    No problem. I mean what I say. I feel like a broken record lately I've been reading such good poetry around here. But I never comment something I don't genuinely find impressing. And I'm picky about poetry.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

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