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Thread: The feeling of loneyness

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    Banned full blooded virgen 666 is off to a good start full blooded virgen 666's Avatar
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    The feeling of loneyness

    the feeling of loneyness wonders in the emptyness of my heart the hope of love fades away in to sadness and anger i run from hope because i know there no one on this earth that was ment to love me i wonder when i will fall in to the pit of forgetfullness the gleam of hope i have left islike a loney rain drop in a mid-summers day

    well ya i guss its how i feel ok thx for listening

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    AO #1 (fill in the blank) KungFu Basil Champion, Lost In The Jungle Champion, Heli Attack 2 Champion basilisk888 is off to a good start basilisk888's Avatar
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    Re: The feeling of loneyness

    it is good I'm not saying it isn't but a comon thing that is buging is the format ofthe poems... your poem of exp... is in three lines yes? the poem itself could be broken up into manny lines... and if you deside to leave it al 3 lines them there is almost always:

    the feeling of loneyness wonders in the emptyness of my heart the hope of love fades away in to sadness and anger i run from hope because i know there no one on this earth that was ment to love me i wonder when i will fall in to the pit of forgetfullness the gleam of hope i have left islike a loney rain drop in a mid-summers day
    -thats yours
    The feeling of loneyness wonders in the emptyness of my heart the hope of love, fades away in to sadness and anger i run from hope because i know there no one on this, earth that was ment to love me i wonder when i will fall in to the pit of forgetfullness, the gleam of hope i have left islike a loney rain drop in a mid-summers day.
    thats just what I think.... oh well...
    death and life are one and the same

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