Thread: Feelings

Ummm... well it's ok, I didn't like the list part much. I would do it a bit differently, like:
"Sorrow,
That tears us appart.
Anger,
That made us turn away... bla bla" lol ^^ just impovising.. .I think that would make it easier to read and undersand it...

Ummm... I don't remember finding anything bad from you... But I think this might be better than the previous one... Ummm... it's nice... has a great thought in it... The last stranza is nice... very filosofic... nice... I've enjoyed reading this and i hope to see more! I always look out for your work Renn!

very good job renn, i agree with lasura, the list did kind of weaken it a bit, but if you look at it from a different perspective, its very unique and it did kind of make the piece string together. and that is a good thing for a poem. very good job, and yes, it was better than the last one