Ummm... well it's ok, I didn't like the list part much. I would do it a bit differently, like:
That tears us appart.
That made us turn away... bla bla" lol ^^ just impovising.. .I think that would make it easier to read and undersand it...
Ummm... I don't remember finding anything bad from you... But I think this might be better than the previous one... Ummm... it's nice... has a great thought in it... The last stranza is nice... very filosofic... nice... I've enjoyed reading this and i hope to see more! I always look out for your work Renn!